Giving Thanks...

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays but this was a weekend I had been dreading.  Unsure of which way it would go (would I end up locking myself in my closet with a bottle glass of wine rocking on the floor the entire time?), I braced myself for the worst version of me to seep through.

I'm happy to report composure was maintained and the entire family did really well.  We had some new friends join us and hootin' and a hollerin' wafted through the house.  Had it not been for the massive caloric intake, I would of had abs of steel from all the laughter.

Yes, Thursday has come and gone.  Leftovers are but a memory and pants are snug in all the wrong places.  Well mine are, anyway.  The bombardment of the holiday season in full swing but I will continue to be thankful.

I give thanks for my beautiful, crazy children, an amazing family, old and new friends, our home, laughing again (so hard it hurts), my job and awesome bosses.. and for somehow keeping my nose above water level.  Even when it's hard to see them, there are loads of blessings, big and small..

Everywhere.

A Year Ago Today...

At 9:00 pm, Matt and I were sitting on the couch watching TV.  It had been 6 months since our previous placement ("JuneBug") had left to live with her relatives out of state.  Nantie had also moved to Cheyenne and was living with her dreamboat, Elvis (who is STILL her rock star, might I add, and we love him dearly).  The house was quiet (well, except for the herd of canines..), errr, let's say not as lively as it had once been.  I was getting antsy, ready for SOMETHING to happen and honestly contemplating moving to a different county when recertification came up.

Then the phone rang.

An emergency placement.. a 6 year old boy and his 22 month old sister.  We asked the few important questions and agreed without giving it too much thought.  Kids in need, we had the room, why not?  It's what we were there for and it really wasn't a big deal.  Years prior we had put ourselves on the holiday list and figured it was a temporary thing.  Thanksgiving was a few days away, families tended to implode (drinking/drug use skyrockets) and available homes were scarce as many foster care providers went on holiday.  Basically, intakes spike. 

A week, two tops.

At 1:30am the following morning, headlights swooped across the driveway and a car parked out front.  It was a bitterly cold, clear night and the stars were twinkling.  Snuggled in sound asleep in the backseat the bright moonlight revealed two of the most beautiful sleeping faces I had ever seen.

And so it began...

This journey started with little fanfare and no expectation.  Two innocent angels caught up in a horrible mess. It feels like a decade ago and the blink of an eye all at the same time. So much has happened since.  Great breakthroughs and huge heartbreaks.  I am so grateful they are still here and pray we get this case wrapped up sooner rather than later.

One thing is certain, God has a curious way of going about things...

Fall Back.. Literally..

With the holiday season looming, I've been contemplating running away until after the New Year.  Some island with sugar sand and umbrella drinks.  Okay, maybe not but (had it not been for my kiddos) I probably would have given it serious thought.  Errr, maybe.  Don't fret.. we'll survive.. we've made it this far, right?

Right.

The crazy thing about this whole grief thing is how it sneaks up on you when you least expect it.  I was worried about Halloween.. missing Matt not seeing the kids' costumes, etc.  I breezed through it, no problemo.  All the events we went to were really fun and we had a blast.  Then, I started stressing about Thanksgiving.  That's going to be a huge challenge.. but guess what got me?  The TIME CHANGE. 

Seriously.

Matt's job was to change all the time on clocks.  The ones up high, down low and everything in between.  This past weekend really threw me for a loop.. totally unexpected.  Saturday, Sunday and most of Monday was a complete blue funk.  It sucked out loud, might I add.  But it, too, has passed.

Thank God...