Me + Crow = Eating It

That's right everyone. I'm officially going on record to say that I am eating crow. The dinner last night thrown by the county was just what we needed to get our perspective back. The reason why we chose this county in particular is because of their stellar reputation, the total commitment to the children and their genuine love for what they do. That is why we didn't go with our own county, which has a program in complete shambles.

Remember back when we first found out "J" was our newest worker? How excited we were because she had done our training and how much we liked her? Those memories came flooding back last night. She was as wonderful as ever. Maybe the time she got snarky with me for declining the placement was in part due to a bad day. It wasn't a cool thing to do but we all have crummy moments. I'm going to give her that because she really is a cool, down to earth, caring woman.

Overly sensitive? Moi?!

As for the slide show that I was all bent about? Had the coordinator said it was ALL about the children and not done a shout out for "pictures of everyone" we could of avoided me getting my nose all bent. It was absolutely beautiful and I bawled from beginning to end.

At our table, to DH's left were 2 workers that we chatted with all night. One was actually a lady that did the presentation of the two little sisters we got called on. In a room with well over 200 people, what are the odds of us sitting next to each other? Good, from the looks of it. She and I kept looking at each other like, "I know you!" until it clicked. I braced myself for some type of rebuke but got none. Both ladies were lovely.

DH and I were excited to see some familiar faces from our training back in January and hear of their progress. Only one family from our group (out of a bunch of us) has had a placement so far.. the rest of us are still waiting for the right match. What a relief, it's not just us.

SO, the Good Lord had us there for several reasons. To recharge our batteries, see old friends and slap me upside the head for being so paranoid. Most of all I believe it was to remind us we are part of something very special and to be P.A.T.I.E.N.T. (a four letter word in my vocabulary as you all know). Ah ha.

I'm off to prepare my crow.

The Unforgotten

I actually got a call from "J" today. She is the worker that got snarky with me when we decided to pass on our first placement call. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it was her, but alas, it was a false alarm. She wanted to touch base and let me know she's stepping down. Someone will have her position filled by the end of the month and will be in contact with us soon.

Uh huh.

She reassured me we are still on "the list" (no mention of a black one but ya'll know my theory) and they haven't forgotten about us (even though it's been a month and a half since someone has dialed us up... whups.. was that my out loud voice? No? PPhheww!). They so appreciate our patience and understanding..

Niiceee.

What are the odds in the midst of the transition we get lost in their shuffle? From the looks of things so far, it's a pretty good possibility. On the bright side, maybe the next worker won't have an axe to grind with us. That would be most excellent!

I'm going to put a contest together and have some fun with this. Why not, right? A "Guess the Call Date" kinda thing..

*STAY TUNED!!!*

Gotta Vent...

At the beginning of The Big Meeting last week I was told not to worry if we decided it wasn't going to work. They reassured me we wouldn't be put on some horrible Black List out there somewhere. That actually alleviated a bit of the pressure and helped me relax. We were all on the same page and wanted what was best for all.

When DH called the social workers to tell them the placement wasn't going to work and why, they were really nice to him. They appreciated our honesty and completely understood. They advised us to call J, our placement worker, and have a few things "tweaked" in our profile. After deliberating over the girls, we decided to change a few things up and it needed to be updated.

No problemo.

I spoke with J a few days later. To my surprise (and dismay) she wasn't near as understanding as the other gals. In fact, she came off as being on the verge of ticked at us. She quizzed me on why it didn't seem right (like she already didn't know) and when I told her our reasons she dismissed them with a snippy, "Well, you know there are no cut and dry cases.. things like this are going to come up.." (as if we were being petty and overparticular).

Here's the kicker, she then proceeded to go off about how they weren't supposed to do the meeting without DH in the first place (like that was my fault). Excuse me?? Her probing and attitude caught me completely off guard and then to throw the way the meeting was held at me like that? Give me a break! I try to play nice with others but she pushed too hard. Time to push back.

I let her have it.

I stopped stammering and reiterated firmly why the case didn't sit well with us. Our reasons were completely legit and I wasn't wavering. It wasn't a decision we took lightly and I didn't appreciate her acting like we were out of line. And the meeting? Um, HELLO? I gave them the option of me going solo or rescheduling for a day when we could both come. It was their final decision how it all went down, not mine.

So, I have a feeling that fabled Black List they all laugh about really does exist and our names are at the top. As much as we want to start a family we are not going to get bullied into a placement. I have a sneaky suspicion our phone will be silent for some time, though.

Kind Of A Call

J called to see how respite went on Saturday and to check in on how we were doing. She then asked how flexible my employers would be if, say, they were looking to place a newborn. The company I work for is family owned (my boss gave me away at our wedding) and they are as excited as we are about our adoption journey. That being said, I wouldn't be able to take an extended period of time off paid and we can't afford to lose a whole income (even with all the money the county sends us.. AH HA!). So, I had to decline.. It wasn't a shock to her as they know that our little ones will need to be in day care.

It doesn't hurt to ask, though!

Parallel Lives Revisited?

Tomorrow night I am attending a monthly class being given by the county (my darling husband has a work related meeting so I'm flying solo). Although I am taking off an hour early from work I'll barely be making it by the seat of my pants. It's a 40 mile drive with a quickie stop by our house to care for our herd o' dogs. I will surely get stuck mercilessly behind the slowest drivers and hit every red light sequence. Road rage is more of a probability than a possibility and I will be drafting. Should be a hoot.

What I am looking forward to is the meeting itself. In attendance will be other certified fost/adopt and foster families. All are going for the required hours of independant study (we get 2 of the 3 hours needed monthly) and, I can imagine, it's a great time to learn something new, socialize and vent.

THE REALLY REALLY COOL part is that they provide child care in another part of the church during the discussion (social workers are on hand watching the kiddos). J told us that these meetings are going to be a primo opportunity not only for us to get to know the other parents but watch behaviours and meet the kids in foster care. If there is a child (or sibling group) that we are interested in, we can inquire about him/her/both.

Bottom line: I could very well be meeting our future child(ren) tomorrow night. How phenomenal and mind bending is that? I so wish DH could be there...

As per my Lilypie counter on the sidebar over yonder (--->), Tuesday will be 8 months and 2 weeks since we officially began our adoption journey. Legend has it (as per my Dear Auntie) Mama marveled that she met me just about 9 months after she and Dad started their process. She waited just like a Mommy carrying a baby waits. Could this be another case of us having parallel lives once again? I know the thought makes her smile down from Heaven. Time will tell..

The odds are good this is going to be yet another restless-can't-sleep-mind-spinning-tossing-turning kind of night.

Translate This..

I mentioned in an earlier post that J told us we're the only certified couple that is willing to take 2 kids. DH reiterated that we prefer one but if there was a chance siblings would be split up, we could take 2 (as long as they were manageable for us newbies). She went on to ask ("hypothetically speaking") if there was a darling 2 year old girl that had, say, a 4 year old brother that was a "bit of a handful" would we consider them? DH told her we would be willing to hear their information, ask all the questions we've got on stand by and if we felt comfortable with the resources we have available, we may give it a go (hypothetically, of course).

Hmmm..

This morning I surfed over to one of my daily must reads "My New Normal" and lo and behold, her post today hit me square in the gut. It's about what social workers say verses what they mean. You'll have to go and read it for yourself..

I can only imagine what "a bit of a handful" translates to here in reality.

Holy Moly

The meeting tonight with J was great (her official title is a "Family Support Specialist"). She was as down to earth as she was in training last January and put us at ease over some fears that have come up. She asked to see where our bedroom would be in relationship to the children's so she got a quickie house tour (and was pleased, I'm relieved to report). Her job is to guide us through the waiting period to placement and, once there, we're handed off to the next social worker. Bummer.. I wish she was along with us for the rest of the ride.

Our next task is supposed to be respite care which is basically us baby sitting for foster parents. It gives them a break and us a chance to see how we cope with different behaviors and ages. She said to keep our minds and hearts open to all the kiddos. Apparently it's common for couples to reconsider their initial choices after they've met the kids. It's a great opportunity for us to realize first hand our true capabilities.

There's also a discussion/support group I've signed up for that meets once a month. We get some required credit hours for attending and get to meet some of the kids in the system as well as their foster parents. I think it'll be cool and look forward to it.

Come to find out, we are the ONLY couple recently certified that is willing to take sibs. Go figure!! Basically, we're the only ones that are completely nuts. No surprise there. DH reiterated we would prefer one but will take two (if we can manage them) so we don't separate siblings. She said our phone will be ringing sooner rather than later and gave us a list of additional questions to ask when we get "The Call". Although the Text Book Order of Things is to have us do our respite care first, it doesn't always work out that way...

Bottom Line: It's Showtime!

Another Day, Another Visit

No word from J, so I'm thinking our meeting at the house tonight is still a go. I'm getting off work a weee bit early to do a quickie tidy up before she arrives. I had a nightmare she did a white glove inspection and promptly revoked our club cards.

I'm hoping after our visit they will have a firm grasp of what we think we can and can not handle and some progress can be made. I'm getting antsy (ya, I know that's hard to tell). We have 2 rooms that I would LOVE to start decorating but not knowing ages, it's impossible (somewhere between 3 and under). I'm jumping to no conclusions. We've heard time and again from people that have gone through the process and preach, "Expect the unexpected"... One lovely gal we met went into it wanting a little girl that looked like her and her husband. They fell in love with 2 older boys (brothers) of a different race and couldn't imagine life without them.

SO, another glorious day on pins and needles. I don't know why I'm so worried .. it's probably being controlled by the powers that be that have me on edge. This gets fun when? ;o)

Miss Cranky Pants..

Ever had one of those weeks that drags on and on feels like it'll never end? Awoke on a Thursday that reeeallly felt like it should be Friday? Yeah, me too.. and that was today, as a matter of fact. What's feeding into my crabitude is that it's hot as Hades here in Colorado (we've broken some stupid record held since 1901 of being over 90 degrees for over 20 days in a row.. still more to come=100 on Friday and possibly some relief next Tuesday.. oy!). You would think it's summer or something.. Jeez Louise..

I'm looking forward to 2 days off in a row, getting caught up on housework and hacking up the golf course on Saturday evening with my Kiwi, Sissy in Law and DH . 9 holes of seriously bad golfing (on my part), fresh air and exercise (followed by a couple cold beers and greasy spoon Mexican food) will hopefully cure my funk.

Fingers Crossed..

I pray that J does not call and change that appointment we have set up for next week. If she does, Miss Cranky Pants may not be as nice as she was the first 3 times she rescheduled.

Oh For Cryin' Out Loud..

I had a message at work that "J" (our latest social worker) called. We are scheduled to have her meet us at the house tomorrow night and iron out more details. I called her right back and got her voicemail.. tag, you're it.

An hour went by and my silly little mind began to spin. How cool would it be if she had a possible placement for us on our anniversary? Holy cow!! Just as my heart rate started to race over the possibility of it being "the call", we heard the breaking news about the earthquake in CA. That sent the morning in a new direction, trying to call family and friends to check in. All phone lines were down but I was able to text message with my Bren. She was fine. Dad was fine. I finally got through to my cousin, Phyllis who lives with Aunt Jan.. they were okay, too. Kadi's cell wasn't working but I got her via email (go figure!).. LOL. Thank the Good Lord everyone was safe.

J finally called back and all she wanted to do was postpone our meeting (again) until next week. They pushed us to get certification done because the need is so huge for good homes but now it seems like major limbo time. I know they're swamped and understaffed.. but you can't blame a girl for being anxious.

Waiting.. one of my strong points (AH HA!).

It Rang It Rang!

The phone works and she called! The good news is our next worker IS "J" from training and I'm totally psyched about that. She's a straight shooter and tells it like it is. She wants to come by some evening next week and firm up the questions they still have.

I've got to remind them to call me on my cell or at work. Rather than me coming home, getting her message, returning the call the following day and her return it back to the house.. that outta speed things up a bit. Phone tag drives me mad.