So I thought I had fought the goo and won.. but I was wrong. I'm sick as all get out. My lack of sleep, inconsistent meals and stress these past three weeks have undoubtedly compromised the old immune system. At least I have the three day weekend to rest before I go back to work (part time), right?
Well, kind of.
Although he knows some fun activities planned for later in the weekend are on the line, LittleBuddy continues to pull out the stops. He did have his weekly therapy session on Thursday and yesterday he saw one of his fave social workers (where he poured out his anger/sadness over Daddy). He is raw, too.. and taking it out on me.
Naturally.
Sometimes I feel my nose is at water level but other times, strong as an oak tree. There is no rhyme or reason why I burst out into tears or can speak frankly about what all is happening. It will take a couple years to get back to normal again. Whatever that is. But somehow we'll get there by the grace of God..
Exhale...
3 weeks ago
3 comments:
Even though on the outisde it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. 2 Corinthians 4:16
I can't even imagine being in your shoes Melissa. I am praying hard for all of you.
You are on a journey none of us want, but some must walk. It is not a short one and it is not a smooth one. I thought it was like being on a roller coaster. Just when I thought things were getting better the bottom would fall out again.
One of the things I found that really helped me when I was journeying was joining a grief group. The one I joined was a ten week group. I actually did it twice and got lots out of it each time.
There are also children's grief groups. My niece took her three kids, eight and under, to one when her husband died. It helped the kids to process their grief. This group met once a month and you could keep taking the children for as long as you felt it necessary.
I don't mean to sound preachy. I know you don't need anyone else telling you what to do. I only mean to say that this helped me, and my niece, out and hope that if you wish to find one that there is a group near you that will do for you what the groups did for us. (I found something theraputic about being in the company of others on this journey)
I wish you strength for the journey. Each of us travels it in our own way and the road is different for each of us, but its bumps and dips and hills seem to be mandatory. You will eventually get to a place where the road, while not ever smooth, is navigable.
I wish you and your children did not have to be going through this.
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