Joyful Grieving?

Is it possible to be utterly heartbroken and joyful all at the same time?

Why yes.. yes it is.

We have received more emails (and even photos) from JuneBug's family since they arrived home. I am over-the-top happy to report she continues to do really well. Not a single hitch in her little giddy up. There will surely be bumps along the way but for now, all is well.

Grin.

This has been the perfect placement. Every step along the way in this case was as it should've been.. from her receiving home, to us and now home for good.

We pray.

That all being said, the house is still sadly quiet and even Bug's best buddy (Cassie-the doberman) wanders around looking for his little girl. We miss her dearly and yes, I still cry at the drop of a hat. All it takes is something as simple as finding a little sock in my robe pocket and the tears come. Joyful grieving at it's finest.

And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Reflections...

I will never forget the day we met and clearly remember the very moment I first laid eyes on you. Cute as a button, not so sure about Nana (Nantie) and me and hanging close to Rosie (your first Foster Mommy). But you felt safe and warmed up quickly..

My heart melted.

In no time at all you became the Princess that reigns over all.. (even Cassie)..

No, it has not been an easy journey and we had our fair share of bumps in the road. Okay, pretty big pot holes .. but that is to be expected. My hope of hopes is your little soul will remember the good times and know we did our very best by you.

I don't know what I'll miss the most but hanging in our jammies on Saturday mornings will be one, for sure. I loved having my baby girl right by my side and not being rushed (okay, the sippy cup getting slammed on my keyboard and ruining my "r" .. not so much.. but everything else for sure-LOL).


You will spend time with your family today and tonight will be our last night together. Your newest journey begins (plane trip and all) but this time you're going home. For good. We know you will be cherished, safe, healthy and happy. Honestly, knowing how bright your future will be is what's getting me through this. I pray the Good Lord watches over you and your family and peace comes to your heart soon.

Ours, too.

Today...

I am working on JuneBug's Goodbye Book. I lost a boat load of pictures when the hard drive on my laptop crashed, but I still have some. Yes, I lost all the pictures of the twins (we're talking hundreds) that I hadn't saved to my Kodak Gallery account, as well. Don't even start on me about backing up.. I got the lecture already (and was none too happy about it, I might add).

Are ya'll feeling my cranky vibes?

Today Bug and I are headed to the store to stock up for our Mother's Day brunch. Gramsie and Nantie's beautiful delights have arrived, we'll get cards and meander the aisles. And drive slowly. No rushing now. If she wants to stop and look at something, by golly, we'll stop. By this time next week she'll be gone. It almost hurts to breathe when I think about it.

So I won't..

Hopefully some sunshine and fresh air will help clear away some of my blue funk. For now we smile to mask the grief and turn away when the tears come. Laughter fills the house but it blankets deep sadness. We are chatting-up the family coming soon to see her, fun plane rides and how much they love her. My head totally gets the move.. these types of placements are what the county strives for.

It's my heart that needs convincing. Real quick like.

Please Prepare For Takeoff...

... because JuneBug's next big adventure is about to begin..

We got word JuneBug's bio family are offically approved. Her cast gets removed next week and they will arrive by week's end. Me and our RFT are holding firm that even a mini-transition is better than none at all.

And so it begins..

Again..

Please put your tray tables in their full and upright position...

Ride That Couch.. YeeHaw!

4 Days and counting of nasty tasting meds, coughing, sneezing, boogers, et al. All things considered, they have been little troopers.

The twins have done really really well in their transition. Jill will eat just about anything, Jack is the picky one. We're slowly learning what he'll eat.. it's a process. So far we haven't had any real issues.. they mind and are sweet as can be. However, we are still in the "Honeymoon Phase" and they are sick. Once they get to feeling better and life starts to sink in there is no doubt we'll hit all kinds of bumps in the road.

They have monitored visits with Bmom twice a week but we cancelled today's for obvious reasons. They have an evaluation on Thursday and we're hoping to get them feeling good enough to go. It's in the afternoon so at least it won't be a morning scramble.

I go back to work tomorrow and Nantie will be here all day with them. I ran errands yesterday for just a couple hours and called the house a gazillion times. Gosh only knows how often I'll be bothering them being gone all day... I'm really going to miss them.

A LOT.