Nantie Has Left The Building..

For all of you newer readers, our fost-adopt journey started in 2007 with DH's Auntie coming to live with us shortly after our original certification. She had just moved back from out of state and the home she owned here in town was rented. A brilliant family member came up with the fantastic idea of her moving in with us, getting certified and helping with the kiddos. Doing transport to visits, watching them, etc. while we were at work. It was a perfect solution for all of us. She was a Nanny-Auntie.. Hence her blog name, "Nantie".. Before JuneBug left a few months ago, it was decided that Nantie was going to retire from fostering and check some things off "The List". Some R&R, travel.. you name it. During Bug's time with us two people she adored passed away (one an expected loss, one completely unexpected .. both crushing). It was a wake up call that our time here is short and every single day a gift. She would continue to live here (of course!) but life was calling and there were adventures to be had. 

 Then, in walked Elvis.. (Nantie, I know you're giggling).

Out of the blue, she gets a phone call from a widowed gentleman-friend she has known for years. Someone she has had a crush on from afar.. and he asks her out on a date. (Cue romantic music and hearts a-flutter). Since that call, it has been nothing short of a fairytale romance. They both are head over heels and completely inseparable. Graceland (Elvis' home.. duh!) is about an hour away and Nantie (along with Miss Oreo-her darling Dal) are there pretty much full time now. 

For the first time in 2+ years, our home feels really big and empty. It's so quiet. Nantie, I will miss our weekend coffee klatsch and the hours we spent chatting at the kitchen table. Please know you made a huge impact on the lives of Jack, Jill, Mannie, Sunshine, JuneBug.. me and DH. Thank you for putting up with all our crazy, loving the children with all your heart and being with us on this journey. We could not of pulled this off without you and we truly hope you know how much we love you. I believe with all my heart the timing of this is so not a coincidence and it's His plan. We couldn't be happier for you and Elvis (still giggling) .. no one deserves this joy more than you two. Last but not least.. Thank you.. ThankYouVeryMuch! (sorry, I just couldn't help myself..) xoxoxo,

You + Me = Wii!!

Last night Missy called and challenged me to a bowling match, Wii Style. What a blast. Much like the real sport, I totally stink and can't play worth a darn (but I'm over it). The upside? No icky shoe rental!

(That was a strike.. trust me..)

Nantie got home part way part way through our tournament and we forced her to play (although she insisted she just didn't want to and blah blah blah). Miss I-Can't-Figure-Out-These-Games throttled us. She proceeded to kick our booties, creaming us in a huge way (one game she bowled a 167). Remind me to never bet her cash at anything. Our Nantie is a shark!

After Missy left we played 9 holes of golf. Again, much like my true game, I over-putt, hit trees and whack the ball too hard. Unlike the real sport, I never shanked the ball or lost it in the drink. Nor did I have to spend time looking for it.

That was cool.

The votes are in.. we're totally addicted! Next up? We try out more sports and bust out Wii Fit! WooHoo!

The Storm Before The Calm...

I've got to be honest, life in our humble abode is tumultuous at best. Our little blonde haired blue eyed pixie is on a massive emotional roller coaster (the likes we've never seen before). JuneBug has been running Nantie absolutely ragged every single day. Not only do we have a 2 1/2 year old (they're wild enough as it is) but add trauma to the mix and DNA that undoubtedly has not just anger but all-out fury issues and it's a recipe for some disastrous days. Then there's the whole immobility thing. Oh.. ya..THAT..

Although we don't talk about it, we're fairly certain she is sensing something is going on (the pending move) and is none too happy about it. On top of all this she has to try to deal with the visits (which are either okay or downright horrible) and how on earth does she even start to process all that stuff??!

I'll tell you: Inconsolable Rage.

Poor Nantie is on the front lines all day long and let me tell ya, it's no walk in the park. She is a saint. She'll be the first to say she isn't but I beg to differ. Please keep our dearest Nantie and JuneBug in your prayers for peace and comfort.

Word on the street is big changes are on the horizon and we may be spinning with her next move in a couple weeks. This is going to be the crazy before she can settle.. another stressful situation to endure before she can finally (FINALLY) be home for good. Poor sweet, innocent baby. She doesn't deserve any of this and it is heart breaking to witness.

History Repeating...

With the Olympic spirit in the air, I declare JuneBug takes the gold for being a trooper (as does Nantie--who had quite the time with her on Tuesday). Little J did great last Friday night but things went downhill on Saturday. She came to us with a runny nose and cough and was just miserable.

And she let us know it.

As some of you may recall, within hours of Jack and Jill's arrival to our home we were in Urgent Care with Jill. She was sick as all get out and ended up having Type A Influenza. That's right.. the flu.

SO, here we are again.. a year later with a new little one sporting a gusher nose, congestion and very very cranky. Déjà vu? Sure felt like it. This time though, we didn't have a fever to contend with and she bounced back fairly quickly.

Yay JuneBug!

I am pleased to report our little darling is back to her ornery, sweet, silly self. She is an absolute joy and has us all wrapped around her finger.. including DH.. and may I state for the record there is nothing more heartwarming than watching a 6'3" man turn to mush over a 2' tall pixie.

*Grinnin'*

Holy Cow...

Okay.. so.. this is a whole new ballgame. Little Mannie and Little Miss Sunshine (that's the best I could do w/ names for now.. bear w/ me!) are sweet and darling. He is way bigger and more mature than 5 year old Jack (at 3 1/2!).. it's wild. She is a cutie.. but I'm not used to 6 month olds (ie: crying, feeding, burping, on and on). I've been told she wakes up every 3-4 hours for feedings. WHAAATTT??? I think it must be much cuter when they're your very own.

When they're not? Not so much..

It sounds like it should be a pretty fast paced case and they will be moved to a relatives home sooner rather than later. They want the kids to be out of limbo as quickly as possible. We will be a bridge once again.

The kicker? Nantie and I were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee Saturday morning and she lamented over our next placements.. she hoped for a 3 year old and 6 month old!! NO JOKE!

Winning lotto tickets, anyone??

Ch Ch Ch Cha Changes..

Monday the kids had their overnight at the relatives home. Nantie attended a class and was gone for the evening. DH and I sat on the patio, had a glass of wine and reminisced over the last 7 months. We laughed (over their zany antics and how scared we were to take twins in the first place), cried (over our heartache and how much we'll miss them) and congratulated each other on a job well done. We loved them with our whole hearts and now it's time to start letting go.

When we discussed visitations after the move with workers, we had been advised that's actually harder than dealing with them leaving. They are never the same kids and it's painful to see. What was said didn't hit home until last night. In just 24 hours Jack and Jill morphed into different children. We have no doubt it is due, in part, to the turmoil they're in over moving but also from the completely different world their family lives in. From mealtimes to dressing them to discipline.. polar opposites.

Last night they had attitude and were demanding. If they thought they were going to boss us around they sure had another thing coming. I asked Jack for a hug (it was totally common for him to come up and give me a big ole bear squeeze) but instead he said, "Get me a glass of water and I'll give you a hug" ... Say WHAT?! (After I picked myself up off the floor) I made him get it himself. He also got a firm talking to.

DH noticed right off they looked at us differently. It's like their little, darling bodies are possessed by a couple aliens that don't like us much at all. We did see glimmers of their sweet selves and I'm sure with a good nights sleep, the Jack and Jill we know will return.

Imagine, if you will, not seeing them for a few months and how different they would be then. We totally understand what the workers were trying to get through to us in regards to visitations. It's wild stuff.

We know they are going to a home that loves them and we can sleep at night knowing they are safe. There are kiddos out there that don't even have that. Parents in jail, family that won't step up .. that's where we're needed...

And will be waiting with open arms.

The Calm Before The Storm

At the end of this coming week, the staffing meeting will take place and paperwork will be filed in court. The transition to return home will begin.

We have been advised not to say a word about it to Jack and Jill until everything is set in stone. Mom is obviously chatting up the move during visits because they keep bringing it up and their behaviours are starting to show signs of turmoil. Her nightmares have started up again and both are manic-hyper after visits. Jack keeps asking Nantie if she still loves him and, as you can imagine, the conversations bring her to tears.

We're going to start the packing process soon so we're not scrambling the night before the move. Nantie picked up brightly colored boxes that will work great for the tons of toys and clothes that will be going. The transport workers had better rent a Ryder truck for the load.

No joke.

Tuesday Toot

My Tuesday Toot is for not completely losing my mind when I got yet more news today that things aren't going our way (case wise). Nantie and I discussed and firmly believe we need to start preparing our hearts (and souls) for their departure. Both our gut feelings are they will be returned home.

DH, on the other hand, says he'll believe it when he sees it.

I'm praying hard for peace and have remained pretty darn calm (for me, anyway). I gotta admit I'm not as tough as I would like to be and yes, the tears have come.

I just can't help it.

Whine Snob

I'm one of those roll-your-eyes-when-someone-whines kinda gals. Buck up and move on for crying out loud. Unless, of course, it's my own drama... then it's on. If any of you follow me on Twitter, am a friend of mine on F/B or are lucky enough to see or talk to me daily basis (*sarcastic*) you know it was a pretty crummy week. I was in a whiny, blue funk and eager to share the wealth.

I didn't even want to be around me.

We got good and bad news regarding our case and I took the negative and ran with it. I had been told by people from our therapy group not to get all caught up in the roller coaster ride. The only thing that is certain is no one on your case can predict the outcome. I always thought I would be able to process the information and not get all jumbled up-crazy over it.

Boy howdy, was I wrong..

DH was out of town most of the week (lucky lucky man) and it was Nantie that told me to put on my Big Girl Panties and get over it. It's truly a waste of precious time. I've got to fully give it up and hand it over to Him. Honestly, I think Satan is doing a jig over me being all caught up in the doom and gloom of what can be.

In your face, bud.. I'm not going there anymore.

So, in the time (we think) we have left, I will try to focus on the hilarity of the two beautiful little people we are blessed to have in our lives. We will throw them a big birthday party which, for the record, may have more people in attendance than our wedding. What the?

If they do return home, I don't want to look back on our last few months as being wrought with stress. They easily pick up on all those bad vibes and internalize. It's not fair of me to put that on them. I am going to try with all my might (and prayer) to relax and let it be..

.. there will be an answer.. Let It Be..

A Corner Turned..

From the get go, I was the least favorite in Jack's little world. In his eyes, my role as Big Mama was in direct competition with their own Mom and he was having none of it. The majority of his fits of anger, snide comments and naughty behaviour were directed solely at me.

Until recently..

Since our little breakthrough (the night he melted my heart with his first, "Wissa, I wuv you"), it's like a shift has taken place inside him. Although we snuggled and giggled before, it now feels very loving and true. We all see it. He has no qualms showing me affection and saying he loves me in front of everyone (even our social workers that were visiting this week). I'm even requested to help him dress on occasion.

Most excellent!

A boy that was once very quiet now can be described in one word as, "Joyful". He loves to sing, dance and entertain. The kid is a downright comic (undoubtedly the next George Lopez-minus the swear words, of course). Even the workers that knew him since the beginning of their case have described him as "a new child."

My friends, it makes our hearts sing!

Little Jill (the former boss of the two) has had to make some adjustments of her own. We think it's a little confusing for her that Jack now has opinions of his own and doesn't allow her to speak for him all the time. She'll just have to get used to that. On the flip side, since she no longer needs to be the one in charge (think Little Mommy) we believe she is relieved. All Jill needs to focus on is learning to just be a kid and not carry the weight of the world on her little shoulders.

This is the one of the hardest times in the case (even our worker has said so). We're in total limbo. The thought of them going home is unfathomable but totally possible. Court is in a few weeks and it's a biggie. I've been advised to go (I plan on sitting in back with my Jackie O's and scarf over my head so I'm not noticed-ah HA). It's two days after my Mortieth Birthday so it's totally blowing all the excitement over that big event.

Okay, not really. More like another excuse to hit the Hagen Daz that week.

Germs 1.. Germination 0

DH went down hard last Friday with a nasty bout of bronchitis and didn't go back to work until today. Jack and Jill have been coughing and boogery all week and Nantie is trying to fend something off, as well. Thanks to Bren's nagging (er, kind words of advice) I started taking my prenatal vitamins after my last huge knock down and have yet to have a full blown cold (thank God!).

Germs win round 1...

Auntie MooMoo came over 2 weeks ago and helped the kiddos plant PUMPKIN SEEDS!! WOOHOO!! They looked like this:
Visions of monstrous jack o lanterns danced in their heads. Jack and Jill check them every day (swearing they see something coming up, of course). The package promised we would see some sprouting in just a few days.

Did I mention it has been 2 weeks? They look like this:
How wrong is THAT?? Do you see the giant pumpkin on the package? Or is that just a really small child?!?? How do these people sleep at night knowing they are going to let down adults (er, little kids) everywhere!??!

Germination-A Big Fat Zilch.




(This post is dedicated to Amber, who is married to the Lord of the Gourds)

I Love You But Don't Come Near Me..

DH, Nantie and I all have very different rolls in our household. Nantie spends the most time with the children, runs them to various appointments and is firm but very loving. She is like a grandmother and they love her from the tops of their heads to the tips of their toes.

The kids never had much of a father figure to speak of and they adore DH. He's like their personal jungle gym/teddy bear. Their screeches of delight when he comes home are at a pitch that only dogs can hear. When he speaks, they listen. When he tickles them they about pee their pants. DH rocks.

Then there's me. I am the rule maker and the not-so-fun-one. Don't get me wrong, we giggle and play but I'm fairly certain I'm seen as The Warden. I'm the mother figure but they already have a mom and have an allegiance to her. It's like almost cheating on her, right? Can you imagine trying to process such huge emotions at only 4 1/2 years old?!

Little Jill and I have really started to form a cool bond. She is very snuggly and seems to handle her growing love for me with ease. Jack, on the other hand, struggles with it. A LOT. Many times he'll ask me to move away (like last night when he was brushing his teeth) or demand DH or Nantie help dress him (rather than me).

My presence just plain ticks him off sometimes.

There are times when he names everyone (including the dogs) and tells me he loves them but not me. I know where it's coming from (his painful turmoil from within) but to say it doesn't hurt to hear would be a fib. On the flip side, if he wakes crying from a nightmare he comes to me for comfort. I'm not completely wicked.

I tell him time and again he can love or not love whomever he wishes. I choose to love him no matter what and I am not going anywhere.

Then I slip him an Oreo cookie for good measure.

;o)

Top 5 Toons

Being relative newbies to the current world of children's cartoons DH, Nantie and I have been scratching our heads over some of the programming. Seriously, what are the writers on?? I've already lamented over the shows that make my skin crawl. That's right all you SpongeBob, FlapJack and Wiggles fans.. we are in total disagreement over quality tv for kids.

That being said, we've delighted in some new-to-us kid shows. Here are my TOP 5 favorites.


#5...
Tigger & Pooh: Classic old (and new) friends revamped.



#4...
Charlie & Lola: Completely darling.


#3...
Little Einsteins: A wee bit annoying but the end result is worth it. Lots of good learning goin' on.


#2...
The Imagination Movers: My answer to The Wiggles (*Shiver*). The Twins and I dance around the room to their songs. Total fun with really cute guys (not like the creepy ones that nightmares are made of).


and Number 1 All Time New Favorite is..


Drum roll, please..

...

...

...

HANDY MANNY!
Where do I start? All I can say is move over Bob The Builder... Seriously, I could go on and on..


Yep, they are all on the Disney Channel. I am aware Nick Jr has a couple good ones out there but these are hands down new favs.

On the flipside, I finally sat down and watched part of an episode of Hannah Montana... and still not getting the big whup over her. If anyone would care to shed light over that mystery, please share!

Oh For Crying Out Loud..

This whole bronchial thing I've got going on has gotten downright annoying. I've missed 4 (FOUR!) days of work and that is a new personal record. I thought I was going to make it in today but after being up for just about 20 minutes I knew better. It was my worst day yet. Dagnabbit! I really do hope to go in tomorrow. A short week for sure but at least it would be something.

Jack and Jill have done really well and try to remember I'm down for the count. I must say the house is eerily quiet when Nantie is running them to various appointments or when they're at preschool. What show lulled me to sleep this afternoon? The screaming on Jon & Kate + 8, of course. Ah HA!

Back to the couch..

Dr Seuss & NyQuil

Bad combo. My head is still spinning.

Whatever this crud is it's kicking my bootie. If I had $1 for every time I've blown my nose, DH and I could retire comfortably. The left side of my head weighs 20 pounds and I feel like I'm under water. It feels like it's moving down into my chest and that is a concern. My hope is I'll be magically better by tomorrow and be able to handle a day of work (I called off today).

DH was gone snowmobiling over the weekend so Nantie basically had 3 kids to care for. I just gotta say, everyone should have a Nantie! Jack and Jill were on their best behavior. They knew I was feeling really crummy and did their best to be good. Although we have had a few rough patches they really are awesome little kiddos.

Hi Ho Hi Ho Ho, Off To LaLaLand I Go..

"Expect The Unexpected"

That bit of advise was given to us at the very first informational meeting we attended with the county. The speaker looked to be in her mid-40's, tall and thin, with long brown hair and pale skin. I clearly remember her eyes sparkled as she told her story.

Like us, she and her husband had tried with no luck to start a family the old fashioned way. Somehow, they found their way to fost/adopt and their journey began. Initially they were hoping to adopt a young (newborn-toddler) Caucasian girl. A child that blended in with their little family.

She told us the one thing we should expect is the unexpected in our journey. She advised us to listen to our hearts and to each other. You can imagine our surprise as she proudly showed us a picture of her son. They had adopted him a few years earlier and he was currently in high school. Not only was he older than the age they originally wished to adopt.. he was a he. Oh yeah, he was also African American.. and her pride and joy. When his younger brother came into the system they adopted him, as well.

The Unexpected.

I think one of the things that has caught our family off guard is how deeply they love Jack and Jill. Like many of you that have gone the fost/adopt route (or are thinking about it) you know most think you're not playing with a full deck when you confide that you're considering doing this. With the best of intentions many try to talk you out of it. Although we know most were uneasy with the whole idea, all tried to support us as best they could. Let's face it, foster kids have a stigma. Not to mention the loss and pain we're setting ourselves up for if the kids go home.

Due to the Influenza Type A outbreak at the house of pestilence (ie: the day the kids moved in we ended up in Urgent Care with Jill who was very sick and diagnosed with the flu) the family didn't get to meet the kids for over a week after their arrival. All they got were quick phone updates from DH, Nantie or me about how downright adorable and sweet they are.

Once The Plague passed and the house was deemed clean (think "Poltergeist") they filtered on over. It didn't take long for them to fall head over heels in love with Jack and Jill. Each wiggled their little ways into everyone's heart.

Although it has just been over a month, it's hard to remember life before them. The thought of a quiet house without the two of them zooming around and chattering up a storm breaks my heart. And I am not alone. All have voiced concern over them leaving.. none can bear the thought, either.

We were very aware of the risks involved going into this. Nothing was ever sugarcoated. We knew that DH, Nantie and I would bond and love the kids unconditionally because they are with us 24/7. We didn't fathom what a profound effect they would have on the rest of the family.

The Unexpected.

Why The Twins Think Auntie Bren Rocks

*She lives at Disneyland, hangs with Princesses and has been on sleepovers in Sleeping Beauty's Castle.

*She arrived bearing gifts in the form of Minnie & Mickey (the stuffed variety) whom she is personal friends with.

*She taught them "Simon Says" and they ran around the house for a 1/2 hour.

*They now can sing (little arms a-waving), "Put your hands in the air like you don't care..." (It's hysterical).

*She laughs at their Knock Knock Jokes even though they make no sense whatsoever.

*She's very snuggly.

*She has REALLY cool shoes

*She cleaned out the fridge and helped Nantie clean out and organize the pantry (Okay, wait.. that's why I think Auntie Bren rocks).

*She can flip them upside down in one big swoop.

*She cooked ALL 10 of us an awesome lasagna dinner (HER birthday dinner, no less!).

Auntie Bren, Auntie MooMoo (Missy), the kids and I are headed to downtown Denver for the Kids Expo. Should be a total blast. From there, we head to DIA and drop Auntie B off and she flies back to LA. :o(

Thankful For Our Blessings

I wanted to take a moment out of our spinning life to throw out a huge, "THANK YOU!!" to Nantie for taking this journey with us. Tomorrow will be a week since the twins moved in and we know without a shadow of a doubt we couldn't of taken this on without her.

Nantie, we love you dearly and consider you a true blessing.

A New Badge & A Big Day

I think I earned a new badge last night (if there is one for getting barfed on). Jack didn't eat much all day yesterday but had a hearty dinner. We were so proud of him. Afterwards on the couch they were taking their meds (the icky one they hate so much) and he gagged a bit. I was ready for him to urp a little up but no.. here came dinner. ALL.OF.IT. Poor little guy. By the time round 2 came on I was ready and caught most in a paper towel. A heck of a save if I do say so, myself.

Cousin Kadi has since given me some stellar advice on strategic garbage bag placement.

Today Nantie is taking the twins to the County office for their visit with Bmom. A worker will meet her outside, take the kids in and meet her back in the parking lot an hour later. The visitation is supervised, of course. It's common for kids in foster care to have really tough evenings after visits (meltdowns, etc) so we are on pins and needles over what is to come.

I'm back at work wishing I was with them..

Ride That Couch.. YeeHaw!

4 Days and counting of nasty tasting meds, coughing, sneezing, boogers, et al. All things considered, they have been little troopers.

The twins have done really really well in their transition. Jill will eat just about anything, Jack is the picky one. We're slowly learning what he'll eat.. it's a process. So far we haven't had any real issues.. they mind and are sweet as can be. However, we are still in the "Honeymoon Phase" and they are sick. Once they get to feeling better and life starts to sink in there is no doubt we'll hit all kinds of bumps in the road.

They have monitored visits with Bmom twice a week but we cancelled today's for obvious reasons. They have an evaluation on Thursday and we're hoping to get them feeling good enough to go. It's in the afternoon so at least it won't be a morning scramble.

I go back to work tomorrow and Nantie will be here all day with them. I ran errands yesterday for just a couple hours and called the house a gazillion times. Gosh only knows how often I'll be bothering them being gone all day... I'm really going to miss them.

A LOT.