Tonight On MomTV's Adoption Angles..

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Join me tonight on Adoption Angles with my very special guest, Ruth. She is a Mommy via fost/adopt and boy howdy, does she have an awesome journey to share!

Let me tell ya, it's crazy easy to join the live text chat fun... just click on: "Click Here To Enter Chat" and either use your member log in OR type in a chat name and VIOLA.. you're in like FLYNN! We loooove questions and comments!

We're on live tonight at 9PM EST (that's 6PM for all my west coast besties!!)... come join us and BE INSPIRED!!!

Who Am I ...

... & Why Am I Here??

I've had many people ask lately exactly what our status is in the world o' foster. Enough that I thought I would address it, anyway. So, what's the deal? Are we solely foster parents? Fost/adopt? What's the scoop?

Here's the low down..

We are a certified fost/adopt family. When we started this journey, it was with the intent to adopt. From the get-go, the county was straight up that their goal is to reunify children with viable family or friends of family. They are not an adoption agency. Period.

We totally get that and agree.

But what happens when there is no viable family or friends? What if family is incarcerated or not willing to step up? That's when it ends up going to adoption. Relinquishment is not taken lightly and no stone is left unturned. We have come to realize that adoptions are few and far between (in our county, anyway).

We're asked how we can be so blasé .. why don't we freak out when things don't go "our way"? Bottom line: It's not about us.. not even in the slightest, remotest way. It's about what is best for the kids. Cases are like roller coasters and all the twists and turns can make you sick to your stomach. Thanks to our time with the twins we've learned to try to sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Because the reality is she could be gone just like that.

Forever.

What never occurred to us when we had Jack and Jill is that once they left, we may never see them again. Although they now live across town, we'll most likely never cross paths. If we did, trust me, we would be a pool of tears and joy. That knowledge alone makes us really try to enjoy the moments we have with JuneBug and cherish them. To pour our love over her, keep her safe, healthy and happy.

That's our job.

Will we be devastated if and when she goes? Absolutely. Crushed beyond words? Without a doubt. However, it is not in our hands and we must trust in Him. Easy? Hardly. Necessary? Absolutely.

Because we love her.

The Latest Low Down

**A WARNING.. THIS IS AN EXCEPTIONALLY LONG POST**

I've had several emails and comments asking where we stand in all this so here's the skinny:

As ya'll may recall, we had changed our status from 2 children to 1 child five months ago (or so we thought) and were surprised we were even contacted about twins to begin with. We figured it was a matter of urgency since the call came on the Sunday over the three day MLK weekend. It was. They needed to be moved by the following Friday and it was a short week.

With what little info the county had on them and the case, we could not (in good conscience) say whether or not we thought they would be a good match for us. We were relieved the wonderful worker "K" totally understood and didn't cop a 'tude like "J" did when we turned down the placement back in September.

So we went into this as an emergency placement with the understanding that once things settle down and we got to know the kids, we have the opportunity to change our status to foster to adopt. If we felt it wasn't a good match and they are more than we can handle, we would let "K" know right away and she would start looking for a fost/adopt family to move them to.

I gave DH a month to decide.

This is a huge decision and impacts everyone. The twins, us, Nantie.. everyone. I've been trying not to push DH... but come on.. I have to drop hint bombs, right? Here is how I nonchalantly started the conversation last week:

ME: I know I gave you a month to decide on the kids' placement but I just wanted to let you know I've already made up my mind.

(Covert, right? It gets better..)

DH: Okay.

ME: Could you even begin to imagine packing their things up and shipping them off to another foster family?!

DH (startled): What? Oh hell no!

ME: Decision made?

DH: Without a doubt. If they don't go home to Mom they are already home.

And so it is. We've changed our status to fost/adopt.

At this point the case is geared towards reunifying Jack and Jill with mom and a target date for them to return has been set. We do not know what her treatment plan is and will not be told. Her next court date is in April and I plan to attend to get a better feel for how it's all going (for the most part we're kept in the dark).

SO, the prayer we're sending up goes something like this: "Dear Lord, we thank you for bringing these darling angels into our home. No matter the outcome, we will love them with all our hearts. Keep them safe, happy and healthy and help us be patient and understanding. Please watch over their Mama and help guide her. Keep us from being selfish and wishing her ill will. We put this in your hands. If they are to return home, please give us the strength to let them go."

One last question I have been asked is about pictures. I will not be posting anything that identifies them but trust me when I say they are darling.