I Walk The Line..

Parenting kiddos that have been traumatized can be a really tricky feat.  They could be acting out because of turmoil.. they are upset, don't know why (can't verbalize it) and lash out.  LittleBuddy once called it feeling "all jumbled up inside..."  Because of where we're at in the case, our little man still can't be told what his future holds.  Legally, his parents' rights are intact.  Can you imagine how scary that must be?  He doesn't know how long he's going to be here or if they are going to get moved again.

Absolutely frightening.

Most days here it's fairly smooth sailing.  Most.  DH was out of town on business all last week and that threw our little village off.   Between him being gone, our C.A.S.A. visiting the kids, lack of sleep, the crazy summer school schedule and LB's constant "jumble", it was pretty rough.  He didn't act out as badly as when hubs was in San Diego (THANKTHEGOODLORDABOVE) but it was still rough.

Bearing in mind the trauma LB has endured, I walk a very fine parental line.  I've got to be sensitive, compassionate and understanding, but not allow him to go overboard.  There have to be consequences at times .. he can't go on thinking that some types of behaviours are acceptable and he can get away with it. 

The tricky part is that it's all in the moment (read: when MY head is about to explode I have to somehow stay regulated).  At the very moment he is acting out I have to quickly ask myself,  "Is it a trigger from something that happened in his past, his DNA, he's missing someone, lack of sleep..  or just because he's being a normal, almost 7 year old boy?"

Kids will be kids and test us .. no matter what their past looks like.  Our boundaries have to remain crystal clear, consistent and fair.  All the while gotta try to keep a cool head and not getting sucked into the argument of the moment...

Because you're mine.. I walk the line..

iSpin

Two weeks of summer school down, two to go.  Epic insanity.

In the midst of all the crazy there has been our recertification, the loss of a crucial social worker (we're still in the dark about that, by the by), CPR/First Aid recert, home visits and therapy for LB. Oh, and trying to maintain a normal schedule.. gotta eat, do homework and bathe..

And sleep.. keep forgetting that one..

Quite honestly, house is falling down around my ears. Laundry as high as the ceiling, carpets begging to be vacuumed and dust in the dreadful honesty of morning light. I admit, I spent most of last Saturday doing ME things (hair cut -- months overdue -- and the Emmy Gala that night) and Sunday should've been a catch up day.

Let me reiterate.. Should've..

Auntie MooMoo called.. Gramsie's Lake (a minute away) is having it's water pulled out. It's that time of year.. the farmers need it.. and it's starting to drop.  Did I mention it's bathwater warm? When nap time was over I packed up the kids and we played at the lake all afternoon.

Naughty me.

LB had an absolute blast.  Auntie Moo got him to float on his back and the boy that wasn't so sure about it all was doing cannon balls off the neighbor's dock before the day was over. Screaming with laughter, I might add. SweetPea was carried out into the water. She's not buying it and prefers to sit on the beach and pitch rocks or play with sand toys.  Our family is part fish.. she'll learn to love it eventually.

As the house continues to get away from me new memories are being made. I'm confident I'll catch up.  Like, when pumpkins are being carved .. or the halls are being decked. 

And I'm totally okay with that.

The Big Show...

A few months ago I became an Allied Board Member for the Heartland Chapter of NATAS (National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences). Being the gung-ho social media addict that I am, I naturally hopped on board the New Media Committee and am now the co-chair.

Tonight is the BIG SHOW... The Emmy Awards!  I'll be socially geeking-out at the gala all evening long.  In a little black dress, to boot.  In honor of our chapter's 25th anniversary the theme is going to be, "Party Like It's 1986!"

Ya'll may not of been born yet.. but I remember it well.. and still have the hair to prove it... 

Friend us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter (@Emmys_Heartland) and me (@FullCircle_Mel) .. we'll be using the hashtag #86Emmys...

Don't miss out on the fun.. It's gonna be, like, totally gnarly, dude!

Monkey See...

Social Worker ShakeUp...

It's literally weeks before the big court date (rescheduled from June) and we've all been praying for smooth sailing.. especially since the last postponement.  "All" includes not only our family and friends but the social workers, GAL and CASA, as well.  Nearly two years into this case, it's well past time to move forward.  The children need permanency, especially Little Buddy.

Earlier this week DH had an inkling something was happening and sure enough, we were told our RFT was replaced (she's our worker, not the childrens').  No explanation, just.. POOF... gone...

And boat is beginning to rock.

Wet behind the ears and not familiar with the case, New Worker is gung ho for keeping the children contact with all family members.  If you've been around here for a while, you know I am an advocate for open adoptions (staying in touch with bio family post adoption).  For some new parents, it's a hard pill to swallow but it all boils down to what's best for the kiddos.  Bio family is very important and staying in contact is, in my book, a must if it's safe and healthy for the children.

Sorry, DNA doesn't automatically make them okay.  NOT by a long shot.

There are family members that we have established a wonderful relationship with and have no problems whatsoever.  They have been to our home and us to theirs.  They will be at Little Buddy's birthday party and may join us for the day while we're camping.  They're over the moon happy the kiddos are with us and part of the prayer chain that we make it to adoption.  I consider them an extension of our family and feel blessed they will continue to be part of the childrens' lives.

On the flip side, there are family members that are neither healthy or safe.  In fact, a few are outright dangerous.  It's true, I'm a worry wort but dang it, I've got to go with my gut.  We had been asked to do an ice breaker with one (meet face to face) and I outright refused.  First time EVER for this team player.  I don't want this person to know anything about us.. not even what I look like.

It's that serious.

Word has it New Worker is pushing for family contact for all.. the whole wide-eyed, doesn't-know-anything-about-the-case-but-wants-to-be-heard kind of thing.  I'm hearing this from the kids' social worker (N.W. hasn't yet made contact with us directly) and I'm in, "Oh Hell To The No!" mode.

When it comes to SweetPea and LittleBuddy's well being, I will stand my ground.  No ifs ands or buts about it.  For now I'm told the others on this case have my back.. Holding Breath..

C'mon August!!

Sneaky Pete...

Discovered on our kitchen island when we arrived from home (with several other outfits for both kiddos).

Any thoughts on this Auntie MooMoo?

As Sweet Jack used to say, "Hmm, I think we have a little mystery here..."

A Rough Start...

Not only did LittleBuddy's routine change dramatically because of summer school in the mornings, we had to temporarily switch day care, as well.  I found out (way last minute) that our current provider couldn't accommodate his 1/2 day schedule (although I checked back in spring before I signed him up and they were totally kosh about it).  Needless to say, on Monday I was pretty dang peeved.  And stressed.

Tuesday I was able to scramble and find another day care.

On top of it all, we're trying to get back into a school groove.  Tuesday night I knew in the back of my mind that I had started him too late on his homework and boy howdy was I right, it was ugly.  Really ugly.  Full blown melt downs, screams to the likes of, "I can't do this!" & "I quit!"..  sobbing, arguing, utter hysteria...

And he was in pretty bad shape, too.

Yesterday morning we sat down and discussed the previous nights' escapades.  He apologized profusely for his antics and I to him for starting us so late.  Together we devised a new plan.  As soon as we got home every evening, he would hit the books as I started dinner.  After dinner, we would finish up his work.  If there was time after bath, he could watch a little TV. 

Cool.

Yesterday he started at the new day care.  All this time I've been stressing about how he would handle change.  It's not easy for most kids, but he can be super sensitive about it.  If you knew his past you would agree, rightfully so.  Routine is key in keeping him balanced.  First .. a new school/kids/teachers, now daycare.  Oy!  When I went to pick him up at the end of the day, the director pulled me aside.  She confided that he was absolutely perfect.. very polite, helpful and kind.  Oh, and there were at least 3 little girls following him around (completely in love).

That's my boy! 

We went to Barnes & Noble and picked out some new books.  He happily read to me all the way home.  Homework went off without a hitch and the night ended perfectly.. no fuss no muss.  I think we're getting it dialed in. 

I pray so, anyway.

Nose To The Grindstone...

Today LittleBuddy starts a reading course through the school district. It's for kiddos that are behind (which he definitely is).  It's only 1/2 days so at noon I have to leave work, grab him then meet up with his day camp at whatever place they're visiting. It is going to be a squirrelly month but well worth it. I really want him to be closer to ready when school starts next month... I pray this helps.

But summer is not over yet!

We've got a big birthday party planned for him and a camping trip coming up in a few weeks.  In between there will surely be days at Gramsie's Lake, bbqs with family and playdates on the weekends.

And s'mores.  Lots of s'mores.

The "A" Word...

.. is being dropped.

for reals

We still have a ginormous court date to get through next month but it's the first time we've been this far into a case. EV-ER. As always, we've been advised that anything can still happen between now and then so no exhaling until we're over the court hump.

I've gotta admit, I'm squeeing (on the inside). :)