Saturday, August 6, 2011

The Talk

Our social worker (Tee) called us as soon as the termination hearing ended to give us the verdict.  She has been with the kiddos since day one (nearly two years) and I can say with total certainty I wasn't the only one in tears.  All this time she has been the one to give Little Buddy all the tough news ..  and Thursday was no exception.

Tee knows he can't process information that comes in a beat-around-the-bush, sugar coated style.  He needs blunt truth.  Although he had been talking about adoption for a few months, to hear it's officially happening was huge and world rocking.  Both in a good and bad way..  Can you imagine what a nearly seven year old feels hearing this?  Joy, abandonment, pain, grief, anger, relief, happiness...

A massively mixed bag.

She didn't want him to have any lingering fantasies that his Mom would be coming back for them and was purposefully clear, answering questions honestly.  It was absolutely heart breaking to watch my little man's eyes well up with tears as he nodded in understanding of what she was saying.  Her eyes welled up also.. how we all kept from bursting out crying is beyond me. 

We told him it's okay to feel the feelings that will come up.. he can be angry, sad and happy, reiterating as we always do that it's not their fault.  Their mom loves them dearly she just can't keep them safe.  We talked about me being adopted and my family, as well as their older brother (9 year old "Freckles") and what it all means.

"Being safe and part of a family that loves you forever," per Little Buddy.

As with everything in his short life, LB took the information in stride.  About an hour after Tee left he asked if we could call Auntie MooMoo (my SIL whom he has become very close to) to tell her the Big News.  When she answered the phone he yelled, "MOOOO... we're getting 'DOPTED!!!"  and I could hear her hootin' and a hollerin' from across the room.

Good stuff.

It has only been a few days since The Talk and all has been well.  We fully expect another cycle of some type of acting out but at least THIS time it's news that will allow forward motion.  LB is no longer stuck, not knowing if and when they will be uprooted.  His school is his school, his friends are his friends, his home is his home. 

He can finally exhale, too.


Sunday Koffron said...

Wow, mixed bag of emotions is right! Yes, it is sad to lose a family and it is good to be on the road to stability. Thinking of you guys today. (((HUGS)))

And so it goes said...

This is just so beautiful. Raw, but beautiful. Seeing these two kids get placed in your home temporarily, a home that loves them unconditionally - as family- regardless of whether or not adoption is an option. And then to get to see adoption become a reality that they get to stay, and heal, and have forever family is the most beautiful thing ever.
so happy for all of you.

Lavender Luz said...

I love Little Buddy's response to what it all means:

"Being safe and part of a family that loves you forever."


Sheri said...

Melissa, this is such wonderful news. What a long journey it's been and what a wonderful journey it will continue to be. Congratulations!!!

Woo Hoo!

cloudmaster said...


I just heard some horrible news. I hope it is not true, but if it is, my heart and prayers go out to you. Please do not post this if you even get the chance to look at it. If there is anything I can do besides praying real hard, please let me know.


Daria @ Mom in Management said...

What great news! And a wonderfully written post.


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