Saturday, June 21, 2008

A "Quickie" Introduction

My dear cousin Kadi, Blogger Extraordinaire - Womb At The Inn(Sane), Supernanny, (just to name a couple) made a passing comment to me once about creating my own blog, writing about us and our adoption experience as it unfolds. I didn't give it much thought.. she is so dang funny and creative (I am not) and the thought of putting our lives "out there" really kind of makes me shiver. Who really wants to read about us anyway, right? Time passed and the idea obviously stuck because here I am. Like so many others, I love to write and it's darn good (and affordable) therapy. It occurred to me this is something that our future daughter will have to read as a piece of her own little puzzle, as well.. so hang on and here we go.. (Thank you, Kadi).

My name is Melissa, I am 39 years young and am married to a wonderful man, I'll call DH-Darling Husband- (he's 45). I was raised by "older parents" (I came along when they were in their early 40's-that story to follow) and I vowed I would never be that ancient when I started my family. Ah ha. DH and I met in 2001 and were married in 2005. My clock has been ticking since oh, 2002, so as soon as that ring hit my finger I was all about basal thermometers, Ovulex and Clearblue Easy Digital EVERYTHING. In a million years I never thought I would be "that girl".. obsessed with doing everything right, trying to get pregnant.

The deal was we would give ourselves a year to get pregnant.. we're not spring chickens, you know. I didn't want to wake up 5 years down the road sans kids and just throw in the towel. If in that year we did not conceive we were on to Plan B.. adoption. I was not interested in doing the whole fertility thing.. I have friends that had great success (and multiple kiddos) by in vitro and I'm thrilled for them. However, it's just not for me. As crazy as this sounds and as much as I would love to bring a little one into this world with his/her Daddy's beautiful eyes mixed with Mommy's kooky personality, I am okay with not getting pregnant and it not happening won't ruin our world. The plan He has for us is different and you just have to learn to roll with it. Don't get me wrong, every month when I found out I was definitely not pregnant the tears would come and that whole feeling like a failure thing would set in. It's just something that you have to get through but not get bogged down in.. what really helped me was to look at the bigger picture and to count all the blessings we already had.

A year passed with no conception and Plan B was set into motion. I had done the homework and checked into Private Adoption, International Adoption and Fost/Adopt County Programs. I knew people that had done all 3 and quizzed them. The one that spoke to my heart was working with the county (of course, the most trying and heart wrenching one of all, in my book). There are 800 children in the county alone in the foster care system. Their ages range from birth to teenagers and they are right in our backyard. I was sold.

Last December the county held an informational dinner that DH and I attended (along with my in laws.. it's a family affair, for sure). They likened it to "speed dating" and had that same type of format. Our table had about 12 people (including our crew) and a person would come and sit, tell their story and answer questions. Every 15 mintues, the speaker would change tables. People from foster only families, fost/adopt families, county workers, people that adopted special needs children, people that adopted teens and a family that adopted children of another race all spoke to us. Can I just say, it was awesome. We got all kinds of perspectives and so many questions were answered. Fostering to adopt is no small task and not for the faint of heart. I held my breath that whole evening as I was unsure if DH was on board or not. He was, bless his heart and that is when our little adventure truly began..

1 comment:

Ms.Christy said...

Hi Melissa,
I'm Christy, Kadi's supernanny friend. lol.
I just wanted to say "hi", I will be checking out your blog.
Christy :)


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