Wednesday, February 18, 2009

News From The Homefront

Life in our little village has started to get a wee bit bumpy. Jill is becoming emotional over seemingly little things after visits. Her insides are obviously churning. She is sleeping better but still has nightmares and cries in her sleep. It's heart wrenching.

Jack is really coming into his own. He is our love sponge and we consider each time he shows us bits of affection a true gift. DH actually got hugs and kisses over the weekend. That was an unforgettable moment to be cherished always.

We try to decipher the melt downs. Are they because of loss and being in foster care or because they're 4 1/2 and testing us? Probably a little bit of both. All we really can do is roll with the punches, be firm but always remain conscious there are underlying issues. The sleepless nights and utter chaos are worth every moment when we get snuggles and love.

There's nothing like it.

Although completely in the dark about the case, we have a gut feeling they will return to Mom. That hasn't stopped us from giving 100% and loving them with all our hearts. The thought of them leaving is absolutely unbearable. Of course we knew this going into it but there is just no way to prepare our hearts.

Day at a time (and lots of prayer).

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10 comments:

cloudmaster said...

We used to have problems after every visit. It was really bad and when they are that age it is difficult to find out why because they don't know either. We were within about a week of reunification when things came to a screeching halt, but I know how you feel plannig for the day they leave. To put it bluntly...it sucks.

Michelle said...

I hear of that happening alot. In our situation ( this is about to change when we switch over to the state) we haven't had visits with parents. So that will be new to me to, but I have been told to expect behavioral changes after the visits.

I know how you feel about trying to prepare yourself for the goodbye should it come. Maybe, if that does happen, you can stay in their life somehow. I always pray for that. I always make sure a birth mom knows I'm just a phone call away. Sometimes they call, sometimes they don't.
You are doing great things for them that they will carry with them forever.

Kim @ What's That Smell? said...

No matter what happens, they are lucky to have you in their lives and I imagine the time they are spending with you will help shape their entire lives.

*big hug*

Lori said...

You are a wise woman to allow them both the space to feel their myriad emotions and the boundaries to feel secure and surrounded by love.

Wishing for the best outcome for all.

Kadi said...

HANG IN THERE!! KEEP PRAYING AND TRY TO TRUST GOD.

Kadi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

IF (and that is a big if) they do leave it is because God has another child(ren) that need time with you! Be blessed as you are such a blessing to those kids and us!

Alison said...

take it one day at a time, treasure every moment..my heart and prayers are with you.

Lisa S said...

I cant even imagine....

moxiejava13 said...

I enjoyed reading your posts Mel. You are a wonderful writer and you truly know how to capture our attention. My prayers are with you and your hubby. I know you are such a blessing to J&J. God is an amazing and loving God. Even if the children go back to the mom, remember that the Lord placed them with you for reason, a seed of love has been planted and only time will tell how that seed will grow. These babies will have these memories forever. God calls us "the apple of his eye"...and the love you are showering on these two precious souls will be rewarded. Keep strong my friend.
Lisa

 

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