Sunday, March 1, 2009

"Expect The Unexpected"

That bit of advise was given to us at the very first informational meeting we attended with the county. The speaker looked to be in her mid-40's, tall and thin, with long brown hair and pale skin. I clearly remember her eyes sparkled as she told her story.

Like us, she and her husband had tried with no luck to start a family the old fashioned way. Somehow, they found their way to fost/adopt and their journey began. Initially they were hoping to adopt a young (newborn-toddler) Caucasian girl. A child that blended in with their little family.

She told us the one thing we should expect is the unexpected in our journey. She advised us to listen to our hearts and to each other. You can imagine our surprise as she proudly showed us a picture of her son. They had adopted him a few years earlier and he was currently in high school. Not only was he older than the age they originally wished to adopt.. he was a he. Oh yeah, he was also African American.. and her pride and joy. When his younger brother came into the system they adopted him, as well.

The Unexpected.

I think one of the things that has caught our family off guard is how deeply they love Jack and Jill. Like many of you that have gone the fost/adopt route (or are thinking about it) you know most think you're not playing with a full deck when you confide that you're considering doing this. With the best of intentions many try to talk you out of it. Although we know most were uneasy with the whole idea, all tried to support us as best they could. Let's face it, foster kids have a stigma. Not to mention the loss and pain we're setting ourselves up for if the kids go home.

Due to the Influenza Type A outbreak at the house of pestilence (ie: the day the kids moved in we ended up in Urgent Care with Jill who was very sick and diagnosed with the flu) the family didn't get to meet the kids for over a week after their arrival. All they got were quick phone updates from DH, Nantie or me about how downright adorable and sweet they are.

Once The Plague passed and the house was deemed clean (think "Poltergeist") they filtered on over. It didn't take long for them to fall head over heels in love with Jack and Jill. Each wiggled their little ways into everyone's heart.

Although it has just been over a month, it's hard to remember life before them. The thought of a quiet house without the two of them zooming around and chattering up a storm breaks my heart. And I am not alone. All have voiced concern over them leaving.. none can bear the thought, either.

We were very aware of the risks involved going into this. Nothing was ever sugarcoated. We knew that DH, Nantie and I would bond and love the kids unconditionally because they are with us 24/7. We didn't fathom what a profound effect they would have on the rest of the family.

The Unexpected.



Bren said...

Sometimes the Unexpected is the best thing that can happen in someones life.

I can't imagine not seeing the kids again, but just knowing the love and happiness they have experienced with you and your family is a little bit of consolation. As always, fingers, toes and eyes crossed!


Alison said...

it is amazing, isn't it!! I am still so happy for you and I am praying it all goes well.

cloudmaster said...

Yes, it doesn't take long does it? They are so lucky to have you.

Alyson, the 3 P's Mama said...

That is a wonderful thing to behold, is it not? When we chose to adopt dd1, we only had the adoption phobias people had to deal with, including my inlaws and of course, we receive all sorts of unsolicited 'advice'. When we prepared to adopt dd3 and she was, gasp, Chinese, well that opened a whole other kettle of interesting comments and 'advice'. Wonderfully, once people/family met them, they fell head over heels in love with them, just like we did. Yes, love is a wonderful thing and it is all about loving who you serve, right? ;) I am so happy your family has responded so well!


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