Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I Confess ..

I'm scared as hell.

I don't usually let the what-if's creep in often but when they do, I get knocked for a loop. I awoke sobbing from a dream the other night. We were packing Jack and Jill's things up and they were going home. I couldn't shake the sadness the rest of the day but didn't let on. I kept a smile-on.

We all do.

The very idea of Jack not running down the hallway in the morning (with his hair bonking up and down and that angelic smile) or not seeing Jill dance or hear her sing (so off key it should be illegal) makes my heart literally ache. The thought of not being able to watch them grow up and the possibility of never seeing them again is unimaginable.

No matter what the outcome, both children are going to face more grief and loss than most of us have ever had to deal with. At five years old. We've got to be adults and be strong.

In front of them, anyway.

I confess I am a weak little human that hopes to one day grow up to be as brave as they are now. They are my little heroes.

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5 comments:

cloudmaster said...

Amen!

SocialWkr24/7 said...

I will add another AMEN to that!

Sheri said...

Melissa,

Dreams can be scary things. They can seem so real and bring to light many of our fears.

I am very intuitive and pulled a tarot card for you. Even if you don't feel comfortable with cards, you can still find information and comfort in the message.

I pulled the Temeperence card, which means that now is a time to wait and be patient. There is a sense of proper timing and gaining a balanced viewpoint. If there is a time of separation, this card would indicate that it would be temporary.

Hopefully this will help...

Nichole said...

Hopefully, the dream was just about your fears and not intuition... I so hope they get to stay with you. Your family is wonderful.

Lisa Mom of 2 Boys said...

Your posts are always so amazing. I hope the best for you and your family.

 

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