Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Note To My Birth Mom..

40 years ago today (the very moment this post went live) I know exactly where you were. My non-id information says you requested not to see me when I arrived because you were afraid you would lose your resolve. You were a 20-something waitress that had recently relocated from the east coast and dated a customer that was charming and sweet. When you told him you were pregnant with me you never saw him again. You were already struggling to make ends meet and totally alone.

There are no words...

I can't even begin to imagine how beyond petrified you must of been. You could've found someone and gotten rid of me. No harm no foul (or so they would like you to believe). You searched your soul and chose life. My life.

There are no words...

You went to the office to relinquish your rights a few weeks after my birth and had almost talked yourself into keeping me. You struggled to make the right decision but in the end, knew deep down you could not give me the life you thought I deserved. It took you some time to compose yourself before leaving that day. It's a snapshot in time of a girl whose heart is completely broken because she so loves and wants to protect a little soul that she knew for 9 months. One she had never laid eyes on.

There are no words...

I wonder if you are out there somewhere and if I will cross your mind today. You are on mine often and I tell all who will listen you are the bravest person I have never met. I want you to know I live a blessed life, have wanted for nothing, fear the Lord and am surrounded by love and laughter. I am a wine enthusiast, snow mobiler, a NASCAR and Broncos fan, have the best friends and family ever, am a rescuer of dogs, a happily married wife and head over heels for a couple of great twins. Ironically, we're certified foster parents and our dream is to adopt. Bottom line? Life is darn good.

There are words.. I love you, too. And thank you.

27 comments:

Mary said...

Here's wishing you a very happy birthday! Thanks for taking us on your journey with you.

-Mary

SocialWkr24/7 said...

No fair making me cry so early in the morning! Happy birthday!

Corrine said...

*sniFf*
BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.

Snow Mommy said...

Happy Birthday!

And a thank you to your birth mom for choosing life.

Denver Jen said...

What a beautiful post. Happy birthday!

Mary Ellen said...

Beautifully written. I was lucky enough to get my original birth certificate on Jan. 2 of this year, and was able to actually send a very similar letter to my birth mother. She's not ready to speak with me right now, but it felt wonderful to be able to thank her for what she gave me.

Nichole said...

Happy Birthday! I'm sure you turned out even better than she had hoped!

Heather said...

This is so moving, Melissa.

Happy birthday to you! And happy birth day to your birth mom, wherever she is.

Bridget said...

This was so beautiful..((crying)) And now look at you taking care of these sweet kids..amazing! Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!! You share the same birthday as my son Landen he's 4 today:)

Mountain Girl said...

That was a really nice letter. I hope your birth mom reads it........Happy Birthday and many more! Oh, and welcome to 40! HA!

Sheri said...

Melissa,

This is a beautiful letter.

Happy Birthday!

Lavender Luz said...

I got all tingly reading this.

This post showed up in my Reader right beside this one. Do you two know each other?

http://www.themaybebaby.com/2009/06/searching-jersey-girl.html

m said...

Happy birthday!

And yes, I have ms. Lavender Luz to thank for pointing me in your direction. A beautiful post and yes, you are so right. There are words, the biggest being: Thank You.

Karen Hartzell, Graco said...

What a beautiful post and I applaud you for giving praise to your birth mom for having the courage to do what was best. I really look forward to catching up on your posts about Jack and Jill in my reader.

Hope your birthday was wonderful!

Karla said...

Absolutely beautiful,and so, so moving. I know you are on her mind, she loved you sooo much. Wishing you a happy belated birthday, here's to many, many more happy and blessed years!

Cat@3KidsandUs said...

That was so strong and beautiful, thank you for letting me into that little piece of your life!

Jennifer said...

Thank you for this post. I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center. Quite frequently we encounter girls who are abortion minded and at the same time say that they could never place their babies for adoption. With your permission, I would like to use your post in the hopes that it would lead someone to choose life.

travelingwithbaby said...

just discovered your blog, and this lovely post got me choked up with tears streaming down my cheeks. Have a wonderful birthday, and thanks so much for sharing your thoughts through this post!

Dr. Dolly

Stephanie said...

Beautifully written, Melissa! I hope your birth mom is out there somewhere reading your tribute.

MrsSpock said...

Here from the Creme de la Creme- this post brought tears to my eyes...

tbonegrl said...

I'm here from the creme. This post is so amazing. Thank you for sharing!

Billy said...

From the Creme.
Beautiful!

mommyinwaiting said...

That is absolutely beautiful! I hope your birth mom has the peace in her heart with her decision that you have with it's consequences. Thank you so much for giving the child's perspective.

From Creme

Mrs. Gamgee said...

So lovely! I hope she has a measure of the peace you have.

Very merry Un-birthday to you!

Michelle said...

Here from the Creme...this is such a beautiful letter to your birth mom. I too hope she has peace!!!

Lut C. said...

Visiting from the crème de la crème list.

This post made shivers run down my spine. Your birth mother deserves all the compassion and admiration you give her. Oh, and mine too.

beth said...

I love this. She gave you the best gift...Life. :)

 

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