Saturday, July 5, 2008

What We Are and Are Not..

We're not: Doe-eyed going into this thinking we're going to find a "perfect child".. is there really such a thing, anyway? They end up in the system because of bad circumstances.. I've had nightmares over just a few of the things I've read some of these poor kiddos go through. An eye opener doesn't even come close to describing the experience thus far and we're not even in the thick of things yet.

We are: Aware that the county is not an adoption agency. They're the first to say it and remind us constantly that their hope is always reunification. We're Plan B.

We're not: Heroes by any sense of the word... especially in the eyes of the children. They will want to be home and not here.. that is one of the many things I'm trying to teach myself now.

We are: Aware that we're the bottom of the totem pole and will have no say. Again, another lesson I'm trying to get through my thick skull.

We're not: Ever going to be 100% prepared when we get "the call". I've read wonderful books trying to equip myself but you can't learn everything in 6 months. Well, I can't anyway. I think once I know what the issues are I can focus on learning how to cope with those specific ones.

We are: willing to open our home and hearts in the hopes of having a family of our own. Along they way I know our hearts will most likely be ripped out, we'll be treated like 2nd class citizens, we'll get a first hand look at a system that is dysfunctional but maybe.. just maybe we'll make a difference in a little life or two.. or.. ?

This coming Wednesday we go up for review and The Board (whomever they are) will vote on our certification. Then it's a matter of waiting .. Did I mention how much I dislike waiting?? From what I've read from foster parents and parents that have adopted, I had better get used to it.. Blah.


mamas*little*treasures said...

Good morning Melissa! I am so glad that you found the Red Thread community . . . . I just discovered your comment there and wanted to touch base with you. We just moved to Indiana from Colorado - we lived about30 miles west of Denver, way up in the mountains. We were there for about three years for my husband's work, but the altitude was really hard on me physically. So, now we are back "down" here, closer to our parents. I appreciated reading a bit about your journey, and would love to have you share more of it with our other Red Thread families. Now that we've settled a bit from our move, I am hopeful to get busy again keeping the Red Thread site updated. Please let me know if you have any ideas for special features or interviews on the home page of the Red Thread site. Looking forward to getting to know you and your family, and following your adoption journey. Chat soon, Nina of My Red Thread Journey

Stella said...

I think you are approaching this on such a healthy, realistic level and I think in some way you are a hero. You will be a hero to any child that comes to live with you, I firmly believe that!

Have you seen the movie Martian Child? It's about adoption and it's really nothing like your situation but it was interesting to say the least!

Keeping you guys in our prayers for your review and beyond!

LoverofWords said...

I am going to leave you a different type of comment. My name is Carla and I live in Allen TX and I am adopting a girl. I am also going through the state but there is a catch in this part of TX (the Dallas area) we must go through a adoption agency to complete training and to get ceritified. I am almost at the end of my journey as I am getting ready for my home study. I can completely understand your feelings at this time and wanted you to know that there is someone else going through the same thing as you.
Here is my email address if you need to vent to someone who understands.



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