Seek And Ye Shall Find

Our lives are highlighted by momentous occasions. It's funny how we can remember minute details from those important events. For example, I can easily recall exact moments with unbelievable clarity from our wedding day and when Mama passed away.. but please don't ask me what we had for dinner last night because I couldn't tell ya.

I will never forget the moment I finally received my non-id information from Los Angeles County. It had taken over a year of writing and rewriting letters of requests and dealing with all their red tape. I felt rather blase opening the envelope (the excitement had long worn away as I was sure it was yet another denial letter). My knees went weak when I discovered it to be the only piece of biological history I've ever known. It was a pretty huge moment.

I tried for several years to find my birth mother utilizing those wonderful Internet "search angels". They basically take all the info you have gathered and search for free. Unfortunately, I didn't have much information to begin with and what I think is my birth name is so common that no one was able to come up with anything.

I contacted a private investigator and they were more than happy to help.. to the tune of $3500.00 with no guarantees. Gulp. That was too big of a pill to swallow so I put my search on the back burner about 4 years ago.

In June of 2009 I will celebrate my 40th birthday. Four-tay. The Big Four Ohhh. Scary. I've decided to bite the bullet and make a few inquires with search agencies again. Well, I'm price checking at this point. The thought is to try to find my birth mom in time for my milestone birthday. If I can find a legit company that is reasonable I think I'll go for it.

I have no idea why this is on my heart all of a sudden. Something down deep inside is stirring away and I just can't ignore it. Maybe she's out there praying, maybe not. I do know I have to give it a whirl. We'll see.

It's not like I have anything else going on in my life right now anyway, right? ;o)