Saturday, August 23, 2008

Seek And Ye Shall Find

Our lives are highlighted by momentous occasions. It's funny how we can remember minute details from those important events. For example, I can easily recall exact moments with unbelievable clarity from our wedding day and when Mama passed away.. but please don't ask me what we had for dinner last night because I couldn't tell ya.

I will never forget the moment I finally received my non-id information from Los Angeles County. It had taken over a year of writing and rewriting letters of requests and dealing with all their red tape. I felt rather blase opening the envelope (the excitement had long worn away as I was sure it was yet another denial letter). My knees went weak when I discovered it to be the only piece of biological history I've ever known. It was a pretty huge moment.

I tried for several years to find my birth mother utilizing those wonderful Internet "search angels". They basically take all the info you have gathered and search for free. Unfortunately, I didn't have much information to begin with and what I think is my birth name is so common that no one was able to come up with anything.

I contacted a private investigator and they were more than happy to help.. to the tune of $3500.00 with no guarantees. Gulp. That was too big of a pill to swallow so I put my search on the back burner about 4 years ago.

In June of 2009 I will celebrate my 40th birthday. Four-tay. The Big Four Ohhh. Scary. I've decided to bite the bullet and make a few inquires with search agencies again. Well, I'm price checking at this point. The thought is to try to find my birth mom in time for my milestone birthday. If I can find a legit company that is reasonable I think I'll go for it.

I have no idea why this is on my heart all of a sudden. Something down deep inside is stirring away and I just can't ignore it. Maybe she's out there praying, maybe not. I do know I have to give it a whirl. We'll see.

It's not like I have anything else going on in my life right now anyway, right? ;o)

1 comment:

FLgal said...

Go for it Melissa!! As a fellow adoptee as well as birth mom, I know both sides of the story :)
Know that what you may find may not be what you expect but could still answer some of those never ending questions! If this is weighing on you, then maybe this time is the right time :)
Best of luck-keep us posted!


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