Saturday, August 2, 2008

Driving Miss Daisy

"What in the world are we thinking???" I wonder this on a daily basis.

I have had my heart crushed throughout my life, why invite it?? A lot of times I tempt fate and bring it on myself. Naive? Not really, just suffering from The Glass is Half Full Syndrome. I'm a believer in things bigger than me (my God) and that He has a Plan.

Call me Miss Daisy.. I'm in the back seat and He has the wheel. Things don't always go as I intended them but that's the exciting part of our road trip. We'll take a turn down a different road (completely unexpected) and blamo, we've embarked on a whole new adventure. Never in a million years could I have imagined the life I now lead, the wonderful husband and family I have, the job I go to and the beautiful home we live in. Not to mention all the amazing people I've met along the way. I can't describe it only to say it's beyond cool. Blessings everywhere.

That doesn't stop me from doubting my abilities to handle this daunting task. Everything from making the right decision on who gets placed with us, to taking care of them, loving them, dealing with the visitations with their birth parents and being at the bottom of the system's totem pole. Let's not forget the prospect of reunification.. the county's goal is to get them back with their family. Let me state for the record that, for now, I avoid movies like "Losing Isaiah" like the plague. How will I handle having to let go? The thought hangs in the back of my mind as a thick, brooding cloud. It robs some of the joy but we knew this going into it.

Society views foster parents as in it for the money (trust me when I say, you don't quit your day job because of your newly found income) and you really only hear the horror stories in the news. Locked in closets, starved, beaten and abused. How do they slip through? I don't know. What I do know is that birth parents get away with abuse for years but if there's even a hint of something amiss in a foster home out the children go, say goodbye to your certification.. and you could be charged with a felony. A FELONY. Did I mention some kids make false allegations? Ya.. scary.

So much can go wrong. Adding to our family is to enrich our lives, not ruin our marriage. There is so much at stake. I cling to the one thing I hear over and over.. we will never teach the children as much as they will teach us. If they do not stay a piece of our hearts will go with them and maybe.. just maybe we will make a positive difference in a little one's life. That's all we can ask.

Drive On...


Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness Melissa, this is the best post I have read on here so far!! I found you thru Kadi's blog, and I have been checking in with your blog ever since. This post made me want to cry, laugh, be a foster parent, and all kinds of other things in one. Way to go girl!! I know you will be a great mother figure to the Children who find themselves in your care!!

baggage said...

It is certainly a hard job, being a foster parent, but it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. And it has worked out great for our family.

Kadi said...

You are the most equipped, most prepared, most loving person for the job and you will make a difference in the lives of children who badly need to know what love is.
You have a God who will carry you through it all and bless you for your servitude to His calling.
You will never regret it, when you look back in our old age and see how many lives you've touched.
I have great faith in you and Matt. I see something very special in you and I know that you will do great things.


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