Friday, August 22, 2008

Will It Be Love At First Sight?

Probably not.

In my quest for adoption knowledge, I've learned there is a good chance when we meet our future child(ren) the Heavens won't part and angels most likely won't be singing. The fantasy of the Big Moment will probably be squashed into an awkward introduction at best.

That is a relief to know.

In "Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother" Jana Wolff wrote it actually took her 8-9 months to fall "head over heels in love" with her adoptive son. She loved him and would have protected him no matter what but that "I will die for you" instinct took time to develop.

I am so grateful to the authors of books, blogs and web sites on adoption for their brutal honesty. Just the knowledge it may not be insta-love will probably save me months of wondering, "What is wrong with me? Where is that complete love I've heard all about??! Why am I not feeling those feelings? Am I just cold hearted? Maybe I'm not cut out for this Mommy Business.. " It's going to be hard enough being a first time mom, throwing in self doubt and feelings of major inadequacy sure won't help.

That's just one of the many crazy aspects of adoption. Strangers eventually morphing into a family. In this instant age we live in, I'm going to need to hammer into my pea brain that we will need patience and time to develop love and trust (and maybe a few batches of homemade chocolate chip cookies).


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