Holy Cow...

Okay.. so.. this is a whole new ballgame. Little Mannie and Little Miss Sunshine (that's the best I could do w/ names for now.. bear w/ me!) are sweet and darling. He is way bigger and more mature than 5 year old Jack (at 3 1/2!).. it's wild. She is a cutie.. but I'm not used to 6 month olds (ie: crying, feeding, burping, on and on). I've been told she wakes up every 3-4 hours for feedings. WHAAATTT??? I think it must be much cuter when they're your very own.

When they're not? Not so much..

It sounds like it should be a pretty fast paced case and they will be moved to a relatives home sooner rather than later. They want the kids to be out of limbo as quickly as possible. We will be a bridge once again.

The kicker? Nantie and I were sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee Saturday morning and she lamented over our next placements.. she hoped for a 3 year old and 6 month old!! NO JOKE!

Winning lotto tickets, anyone??

One Door Closes & Another Opens..

NEWS FLASH!!!!!

Remember when the county said we would have a few months to grieve? Um, no. We just got "THE CALL" (an emergency placement) for a 3 year old boy and his 6 month old sister!!!

HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!

They'll be brought to the house tonight..

STAY TUNED!

:o)

Perfect Moment Monday

Miss Oreo and Casanova share a doggy bed during our Goodbye Party for Jack and Jill. They looked on as the whole family laughed and cried our way through the evening.

I Capture
Perfect Moments.

An Award? WooHoo!

This little ditty came to me courtesy of Denver Jen from Waiting For Bambino. She is a fellow Colorado Blogger who is also taking the adoption journey (via private). She and her husband had been waiting anxiously to be chosen by a family and, after moving into their new house and barely getting settled in.. BLAMO!.. they got "The Call"! It's a thoughtful, beautifully written blog.. surf over and give her a Full Circle "Howdy Do!". (Thank you for thinking of me, Jen!).

3 Award Rules:
*Link back to person who gave it to you (DONE!).
*Give the award to 10 fav peeps (Gonna Do).
*List 10 things about yourself (AAK).

10 Fav Friends (there's loads more, trust me):
Kadi @ WATI
Stella @ Mountain Momma
Wendy @ Beautifully Broken
Snarky Mom @ Postcards
Carmen @ Please Don't Juggle Your Veggies
Tiff @ Still Seeking Sanity
Michelle @ Eat, Sleep, Create
Bridget @ Don't Blink!
Lisa @ Beautiful Disaster
Christy @ Butterflies

10 Things About Moi (Feel Free To Skip This Part):
*I've travelled through Europe but it didn't really count (I was 18 and we were more excited we could drink legally than anything else.. Mona Lisa who?). Gotta get back and do it right!

*When in the right frame of mind I'm a lean, mean cleaning machine (ie: cleaning house is my therapy).

*Gardening is also therapy.

*Oh yeah, so is blogging.

*Blue is my favorite color (more like turquoise.. the color of the ocean in Hawaii, the Keys, all things island).

*I love the mountains but will always be a beach girl at heart, as well.

*I wish I made more time to read.

*I hope to get back into cooking.

*I have the best family and friends EV-ER and couldn't ask for a better husband (and no, he's not a reader so I'm not sucking up).

*I wish I could go back in time and tell Mama all the things I should've said while she was alive (and spend more quality time with her).

THE END!

"The Lost & Found Family" Movie Review & Giveaway

I had the privilege of being contacted by Provident Films to watch a sneak peak of the new movie, Lost and Found Family out on DVD September 15th. I intentionally set aside this very afternoon to screen it. Being the first full day that Jack and Jill are gone, I knew I would need a pick me up and inspiration. One of the (many) lines that spoke directly to me?

"Don't count God out yet. His ways aren't our ways... which is probably a good thing because our ways pretty much suck.."

Perfect, no? I laughed out loud.

From their web site:
Five guarded and confused foster children. Two loving, but weary, foster parents. One grieving former socialite. Put them all under one dilapidated roof and you get eight unique individuals in a house.

Or maybe, just maybe, it becomes the family they’ve all been longing for.

The Lost & Found Family is a touching story of hardship, change, and the faith that God can make things better, no matter how difficult the situation appears in our eyes. It’s a great reminder that God brings out the best in us when we show His compassion to those in desperate need of love.

It's a wonderful movie of compassion, hope and love. A theme woven throughout is, although children in foster care are damaged and broken, there's still hope for them if someone is willing to step up.

Check out the trailer..



The Giveaway!!

Want to win your very own copy? Leave me a comment why! Tweet about it? Leave a comment and let me know you did! F/B about it? Comment AGAIN! One commenter will be chosen at random on the September 15th release date!

It's a wonderful movie to add to your own family collection (and church library, as well!). Maybe it will inspire someone off the fence to foster. One thing is for sure, it was just what my heart needed today.

And for that I am grateful.

7 Months 4 Days 7 Hours 5 Minutes..

...and then they were gone.

Our family room at 9am this morning:

Oh, and this..


Now?

May the Good Lord watch over and bless darling Jack and Jill and their family. May He keep them all safe and bless their lives always. Please give our family peace and strength as we move forward to whatever lies ahead. We thank Him for the privilege of knowing and loving His two little Angels.

Amen.

Ch Ch Ch Cha Changes..

Monday the kids had their overnight at the relatives home. Nantie attended a class and was gone for the evening. DH and I sat on the patio, had a glass of wine and reminisced over the last 7 months. We laughed (over their zany antics and how scared we were to take twins in the first place), cried (over our heartache and how much we'll miss them) and congratulated each other on a job well done. We loved them with our whole hearts and now it's time to start letting go.

When we discussed visitations after the move with workers, we had been advised that's actually harder than dealing with them leaving. They are never the same kids and it's painful to see. What was said didn't hit home until last night. In just 24 hours Jack and Jill morphed into different children. We have no doubt it is due, in part, to the turmoil they're in over moving but also from the completely different world their family lives in. From mealtimes to dressing them to discipline.. polar opposites.

Last night they had attitude and were demanding. If they thought they were going to boss us around they sure had another thing coming. I asked Jack for a hug (it was totally common for him to come up and give me a big ole bear squeeze) but instead he said, "Get me a glass of water and I'll give you a hug" ... Say WHAT?! (After I picked myself up off the floor) I made him get it himself. He also got a firm talking to.

DH noticed right off they looked at us differently. It's like their little, darling bodies are possessed by a couple aliens that don't like us much at all. We did see glimmers of their sweet selves and I'm sure with a good nights sleep, the Jack and Jill we know will return.

Imagine, if you will, not seeing them for a few months and how different they would be then. We totally understand what the workers were trying to get through to us in regards to visitations. It's wild stuff.

We know they are going to a home that loves them and we can sleep at night knowing they are safe. There are kiddos out there that don't even have that. Parents in jail, family that won't step up .. that's where we're needed...

And will be waiting with open arms.

Perfect Moment Monday

I Capture
Perfect Moments.

Downtime

Today is a jammies-only kinda day. Well, with the exception of Jill and DH who insist on getting dressed as soon has their feet hit the floor. What-ev-er!! Jack and I are kickin' it in comfort (no need for style) thankyouverymuch.

It has been a nonstop week and today is a day to recover. They have had extended visits with the family they are moving in with and are completely wiped out when they return home. They don't nap and are back to loading up on things like chocolate milk and soda. All we can do is smile (and cringe on the inside). There's nothing we can do except pray that some of our suggestions for meals and snacks will be taken under consideration.

Jack and Jill are both getting sick. He has a gusher of a runny nose and she is sneezing. Being exhausted isn't helping. They'll be riding the couch today and that is that. Jill came here with the flu and I'll be danged if they move back under the weather.

Tomorrow the kids are back at the relatives home for an overnight and we won't see them again until Tuesday afternoon. They are happy to be here and to spend time there, as well. We believe they feel safe and loved in both homes and that's huge. They're totally going with the flow and so far, the transition process seems to be a success.

Little troopers, indeed.

All's Quiet On The Western Front

Nothing really new to report.. just taking things a day at a time. The kiddos were told about the move earlier this week and have taken the news in stride. That is a huge relief. It is very apparent they don't quite "get it" but it'll all come together soon enough. When they ask about visiting us we obviously can't make any promises and tell them the truth (which is we just don't know). We do tell them how much we love them and that we'll miss them forever (and ever).

We are at peace with the decision and trying our darnedest to be as positive and upbeat as possible. Sometimes it's no easy task as the tears come from nowhere but we're putting on a good front. We've had contact with the family they're moving in with and we're all playing nice and getting along. They do seem like good people and we know deep down the kids will be safe and loved.

That's all we ask for.

The one thing I do know for sure.. it's not going to sink in for us until they're gone. Sigh..

My Sunshine(s)

You Are My Sunshine(s)
My Only Sunshine(s)
You Make Me Happy
When Skies Are Grey.
You'll Never Know Dear(s)
How Much I Love You,
Please Don't..

After the kiddos went to sleep, I was singing this little ditty while doing dishes.. and burst into tears. Way to keep it together, right?

Perfect Moment Monday

I never would've guessed I would miss this...



Or this..



But I will. In a huge way.

I Capture
Perfect Moments.

Knock Knock!!

Who's Th....




WHOA!

And So It Begins..

In a couple weeks Jack and Jill will move. The transition plan has been put into motion and the clock is ticking. This week will finish out business as usual but next week things will be changing. Longer visits with the family they will be moving in with, followed by an overnight stay and then they will be gone.

They won't be told until about 2 days prior to the move. It's really just too much to process at such a young age. They'll be told at The Office and will have time to grieve here at home. What people don't understand is that they, too, experience grief and loss when they leave foster homes. Especially when they are so bonded and embedded in the family.

As well as we know them, we're not exactly sure what their reaction will be. Mom has told them all along they would be going home with her soon. They have it in their heads that, if and when a move happens, it will be back to her. I think they are going to be furious and confused.

And you can't blame them.

Although we have had bumps in the road with the family, the one thing we do agree on is we want this to be as smooth of a transition as possible for the kids. We all love them and want to protect them as best we can. In the end, we can't ask much more than that.

Please keep them in your prayers and good thoughts.

Writer's Block Broken

Since Friday night I've been working on the little ditty I'll be giving during the meeting at DSS. Well, trying to anyhow. For some odd reason, blabber mouth moi couldn't seem to find the words. I'm discussing the amazing strides Jack and Jill have made since their arrival and it's extremely important for me to get it just right. The bottom line is I'm representing them and it has got to be perfect.

After what felt like a massive struggle I have a final draft I think I'm proud of.. but feel like I'm forgetting something. What could it be??

Ah.. Kleenex..

Wish me luck..

Perfect Moment Monday

I Capture
Perfect Moments.

Impeccable Timing

For the last few years I've been trying to find a church that fits me best. Don't get me wrong, I loved the one I attended growing up.. the services, youth ministry and choir I was involved with left a life long impression. They were some of the best times I had as a child and teen. That being said, as an adult I've come to a place where I don't agree with all the teachings and thought it was high time I give others a try.

No easy task.

There is something for everyone and many were not for me. I've tried ones that were so laid back people were wearing sweats. I couldn't handle it. At another they shouted out to the pastor as he was preaching ("Amen"s and "Praise The Lord"s).. that literally made me come out of my chair .. I was a nervous wreck. Another was all about entertainment and a production.. making us laugh and a band that rocked out. Too showy for my taste.

I had taken the kiddos to a new church some weeks (ok, months) back to check out. Although very different from my conservative upbringing, it fit just right. It had some great music, a really good pastor and I liked his message. Bible teaching in a church. What a concept! The kids totally loved their teachers and I fully intended to return.

Summer came and so did the activities. Family get togethers, birthdays galore, camping trips, races.. you name it. We have been going nonstop and sadly, church got put on the back burner.

Until this weekend.

The thought of going back had been gnawing at me for sometime now. I had decided it was time to schedule things around church for a change. Color me a rocket scientist. This weekend we finally made it back and boy howdy, as soon as I saw the new series they were starting I had to smile, "Magnificent.. The God Who Meets You Where You Are.." It's all about where God is when you need Him.

If there was anyone that was supposed to be there, it sure was me.

I sat there nodding and in tears during the whole message. What hit home? The parts about worry and discouragement. Talk about hitting the nail on the head and talking directly to me.

You were right, Pastor John. There was someone sitting there needing that message (in a big way) last night. We'll be seeing you next weekend.

God's timing never ceases to amaze me..

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

Holy Cow, We Didn't See That One Coming!

So, yet another twisty in our ever-changing case. Silence was broken yesterday as I received a call from one of our workers. Turns out, Mom does not have the things in place she claimed to (tried to pull a con, really) and the kiddos will not be returning to her anytime soon. She is keeping her nose above water level and doing the very minimum they are asking. Her rights will not be terminated so now other avenues are being visited for placement.

Turns out, Plan B is to have them return to another family member's home. One we had totally not expected. After the shock wore off we contemplated the positives. Although not the most stellar household, it is still way more stable and safe than had they returned to Mom. We know they are very much loved by these people and that is a source of comfort.

We had a falling out with said family members several months back. It caused a ruckus (to say the least) but I think they would be willing to mend fences for the sake of the children. More so than Mom would, anyhow. We will ask to do respite (county term for babysit) for them a weekend a month.. we'll see...

I have been asked to attend a meeting discussing this placement. They want our input and suggestions. Our bond with them is great and our opinions actually hold water. They want to hear about the changes that have taken place with each child since they arrived in January and also what our concerns are in regards to the new home. I consider it a privilege to be invited and find comfort in knowing what I will say will be on record. Nothing I say will prevent them from leaving but perhaps suggestions made will aide in some factors of their safety and well being.

I will be preparing all weekend for the meeting. It's probably one of the most important speeches I will ever give and I want to knock it out of the park.

So, the long and short of it is this transition will happen in the next two weeks. Although nothing is set in stone just yet, we are at peace with the decisions being made. I joked with the worker that I've chewed and mulled the case over and this scenario was not what I had ever imagined. Her, either. Prayers do get answered in ways we never see coming.

The one true constant in foster care.. expect the unexpected.

Silence

I'm sitting here at the table in the still of the morning. All doggies and people are sleeping soundly (except for DH who has already left for work). I hear the ticking of several clocks and the whir of the laptop. Near silence.

A rarity here lately.

Life in our little village has been rough. Jill has been acting up more than usual and you really never know what's going to happen next. She is defiant, back chats and has mood swings like you can't imagine (just to name a few). In the heat of the moment we remind ourselves this is not how our little darling normally acts.. she has a lot of stuff jumbled up inside and is trying to deal with it all.

Jack hasn't been acting out nearly as bad (yet).

No word from The Office. No phone calls, no emails. Total silence. My nature is to second guess why it went from a 9-1-1 must-get-the-transition-started-NOW to nothing. Ziltch, zippo, nada. Trust me, I'm the Queen Of Over-Thinking and my mind has been spinning. The reality is, it's a big group of workers that need to participate and I bet they are having a tough time getting everyones schedules to jive.

No complaints. We'll take whatever extra time we have and run with it.

Here at the table I know I will soon long to see their little bed heads bobble down the hallway each morning. I know I'll remember the sounds of their laughter wafting downstairs and all things Disney playing in the background. I'll miss their incessant chatter and bantering. I do believe I will then rue the silence.

Bring on da noise!

Attn All My Bloggy Friends!

If you're a friend of Full Circle and have a button, please email me the code (myfullcircle at gmail dot com). I'm afraid I'm going to miss someone if I don't do a shout out.. Yes, I'm that lame. If you don't have a button, no worries! I'm doing links, too. Just leave a comment here and I'll get it.

While you're at it, feel free to grab my new one!

Thanks!!!

She's Baaaaacckkkk!!!

And funnier than ever. Surf over and say, "Hey!" to cousin Kadi!!

Pretty Cool New Digs, Eh??

So, here we are. I'm still getting settled in and happy to show you around my new little home. There are a few elements that are cool that I would like to share..

First up, a huge hug and, "Thank You!" to the amazing (and patient) Lindsey at Sour Apple Studio. Working with me is no easy task. She took what was in my head and viola! Here it is. Please check out her web site and blog.. I HIGHLY recommend her work!!



Then there's our caricatures. They aren't just random iStock people I chose from that look like us. Illustrator extraordinaire, Sara Showalter, took pity on me and actually drew us from description. Not only that, as children come we can add to our illustration! How cool is that?

Home really is where our heart is and a very important part of our family. It's our sanctuary from the crazy that lies just beyond our drive. I'm really happy to have it shown in the header. Of course, we live at the base of the amazing Colorado Rocky Mountains which we love and the smattering of paw prints represents our herd of canines. Kadi's thoughts on the flowers representing Mama is PERFECT (thank you, darlin'!). Orangey-red, like her auburn hair, petite and pretty.

So, I'm still shuffling stuff around and will be adding to my tabs in the coming days. It's a wonderful distraction to our reality (one that's still in limbo, by the way) and I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out.

Yay!

Ta Da!!!

Okay, it's just coming together now.. it's not quite done yet but is the new design awesome or what!?? We've got Nantie, DH, Jack, Jill and I represented.. plus some other stuff that is meaningful..

More in a bit!

Big Changes A Comin'..

To this lil ole blog, that is.

I've been working with Lindsey at Sour Apple Studio and she has created the most darling design ever. Stay tuned, we should be live sometime tomorrow!

Perfect Moment Monday

Auntie MooMoo always finds the cutest stuff for Jack and Jill and this past week was no exception. Now bath time officially rocks cuz we have, "the bestest towels ev-er"..

I Capture
Perfect Moments.

(PS.. To answer the burning question of the day.. she bought them at Kohl's!) :o)

TOWANDA!

Anniversary Gift

DH finally got home last night from his business trip. As many of you know, he missed our wedding anniversary earlier this week. He was traveling with his boss (the best boss ever, I might add) and I had high hopes DH would be influenced once again by his impeccable taste. I scored a Coach purse and clutch one Christmas because they had traveled together and DH was pressured (er, talked into) buying them for me.

Unfortunately, Boss departed a few days early.


Not exactly the diamonds or turquoise I was expecting but I did get a good laugh just the same.