Saturday, August 8, 2009

Holy Cow, We Didn't See That One Coming!

So, yet another twisty in our ever-changing case. Silence was broken yesterday as I received a call from one of our workers. Turns out, Mom does not have the things in place she claimed to (tried to pull a con, really) and the kiddos will not be returning to her anytime soon. She is keeping her nose above water level and doing the very minimum they are asking. Her rights will not be terminated so now other avenues are being visited for placement.

Turns out, Plan B is to have them return to another family member's home. One we had totally not expected. After the shock wore off we contemplated the positives. Although not the most stellar household, it is still way more stable and safe than had they returned to Mom. We know they are very much loved by these people and that is a source of comfort.

We had a falling out with said family members several months back. It caused a ruckus (to say the least) but I think they would be willing to mend fences for the sake of the children. More so than Mom would, anyhow. We will ask to do respite (county term for babysit) for them a weekend a month.. we'll see...

I have been asked to attend a meeting discussing this placement. They want our input and suggestions. Our bond with them is great and our opinions actually hold water. They want to hear about the changes that have taken place with each child since they arrived in January and also what our concerns are in regards to the new home. I consider it a privilege to be invited and find comfort in knowing what I will say will be on record. Nothing I say will prevent them from leaving but perhaps suggestions made will aide in some factors of their safety and well being.

I will be preparing all weekend for the meeting. It's probably one of the most important speeches I will ever give and I want to knock it out of the park.

So, the long and short of it is this transition will happen in the next two weeks. Although nothing is set in stone just yet, we are at peace with the decisions being made. I joked with the worker that I've chewed and mulled the case over and this scenario was not what I had ever imagined. Her, either. Prayers do get answered in ways we never see coming.

The one true constant in foster care.. expect the unexpected.


Kim @ What's That Smell? said...

My heart aches for you and for the kids in this situation. I understand that they try and place the kids with family first but I think it reaches a point where "family" needs to be defined beyond sharing DNA.

I'm sure you will do great at the meeting and they will see how much you care about these kids. The rest is out of your hands.....

Bridget said...

Melissa I will be praying for you to knock it way out of the park. Ugh makes me so mad that a good mom like you can't just keep them.

Kendra Field-Bennett said...

Wishing you all the luck in the case! If it's a Family Team Decision Meeting then you should absolutely be a part of it (at least that's how it is in WA). We usually are there by phone and we are just a receiving home.
Keep the faith, you just never know what's going to happen in the big scheme of things. We've found, after 37 placements, to expect the unexpected. There are lots of things the state can't tell foster parents about the case but one would hope it all works out well for the kids. For Levi's case, things were confusing even up to his adoption (3 years, many relatives, a return to an aunt, visits to the prison and more) until we got the disclosure, then it all made more sense.
Hang in there!

Lavender Luz said...

Thinking of your family. You are a woman of grace, for sure, Melissa.

Sheri said...

This seems like a better option than sending the kids home to mom.

I know it will be hard for you, but you are a great advocate for these kids.

I pulled yet another card for you, The Devil (reversed), which means you are facing your fears and being released from bondage -- the heaviness that you have carried in your heart fearing what might happen. You are now able to release your fears (even if slowly) and focus on divine order.

Even if it doesn't make sense to you, your heart holds great faith to see this through.

I'm thinking of you and your family as you move through this.

Ms.Christy said...

I put Jack and Jill and your and your hubby on our Sunday school prayer request email a few weeks back. I am glad to see God has been working for you all. :)


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