Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Ch Ch Ch Cha Changes..

Monday the kids had their overnight at the relatives home. Nantie attended a class and was gone for the evening. DH and I sat on the patio, had a glass of wine and reminisced over the last 7 months. We laughed (over their zany antics and how scared we were to take twins in the first place), cried (over our heartache and how much we'll miss them) and congratulated each other on a job well done. We loved them with our whole hearts and now it's time to start letting go.

When we discussed visitations after the move with workers, we had been advised that's actually harder than dealing with them leaving. They are never the same kids and it's painful to see. What was said didn't hit home until last night. In just 24 hours Jack and Jill morphed into different children. We have no doubt it is due, in part, to the turmoil they're in over moving but also from the completely different world their family lives in. From mealtimes to dressing them to discipline.. polar opposites.

Last night they had attitude and were demanding. If they thought they were going to boss us around they sure had another thing coming. I asked Jack for a hug (it was totally common for him to come up and give me a big ole bear squeeze) but instead he said, "Get me a glass of water and I'll give you a hug" ... Say WHAT?! (After I picked myself up off the floor) I made him get it himself. He also got a firm talking to.

DH noticed right off they looked at us differently. It's like their little, darling bodies are possessed by a couple aliens that don't like us much at all. We did see glimmers of their sweet selves and I'm sure with a good nights sleep, the Jack and Jill we know will return.

Imagine, if you will, not seeing them for a few months and how different they would be then. We totally understand what the workers were trying to get through to us in regards to visitations. It's wild stuff.

We know they are going to a home that loves them and we can sleep at night knowing they are safe. There are kiddos out there that don't even have that. Parents in jail, family that won't step up .. that's where we're needed...

And will be waiting with open arms.


Lavender Luz said...

May your hearts have the same strength your arms do.

XOXO, Melissa. Thinking of you so much these days.

SocialWkr24/7 said...

Absolutely - seeing them change and wondering how they might be different if they'd stayed with you is so hard! But after time and healing, the shock wears off - they will still be children you love so much!

MJ said...

I know exactly what you are going through. It is so hard. We had two little boys for 15 months. They did have weekend visits with their parents for 8 1/2 months. We also noticed so much change in them after their visits. I felt like they were totally different kids. Just remember that the time you have given of your hearts was what they needed. Good Luck.

Amber said...

Your capacity to love absolutely inspires me!

Sheri said...

Thank you for inviting us along with you on this beautiful journey.

You may never know the exact difference you had in their lives, but it has been awesome!

I'm thinking of you a lot as you move through this and "face the Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes..."

caitsmom said...

Wow. I simply cannot imagine. (((hugs)))

Mama Bunny said...

You definitely are handeling this is in healthy way. It must be so hard...yet you are probably at it is in God's hands. Thank you for taking care of them so foster kids (I was one) need people like you guys. You are such an important piece to the puzzle.

Anonymous said...

Bless you all! I just read that you're getting placements already. I am praying for you.

Our 18 year old FS is leaving this week. Yes he is still in care. And after he's gone, our license is changing from 0-10 years old. I know how dh and I have grieved over these two when they left... and with little ones that you have for sooo long... I don't know how we will deal.

Bless you on your journey!


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